A TWIST OF FATE

CHAPTER 11 : 3RD TRIMESTER BEGIN

As the weeks rolled by, I found myself moving into the third trimester of the semester. The air outside was crisp, filled with the scent of fallen leaves, but my heart felt heavy with the complexities of my feelings for Nex. The more I tried to navigate my emotions, the more tangled I became. Guilt gnawed at me like a persistent ache.

I knew I had to make a choice. I couldn't keep feeling this way about him, not when he was already in a relationship. It felt wrong to harbor these feelings, and I blamed myself for letting this situation spiral out of control. So, I decided to distance myself—to ignore him completely.It started small. I would see Nex in the hallways, his familiar smile lighting up his face, and I would look away. My heart would clench, but I steeled myself, convincing myself that I was doing the right thing. I engaged with other students, laughing with them, participating in group discussions, but every time I caught sight of Nex, I felt a pang of sadness.

One afternoon in the cafeteria, I sat with a group of classmates, laughing and sharing stories about our weekend plans. The atmosphere was lively, and I tried to immerse myself in it, but my gaze kept drifting to Nex, who was sitting with his friends at a nearby table. He looked up just then, and our eyes met. For a fleeting moment, I felt a rush of connection, but I quickly looked down, forcing a smile as I turned back to my friends.

"Hey, have you guys heard about the upcoming art showcase?" a classmate asked, pulling me back into the conversation."Yeah! I can't wait to see everyone's work," I replied, my voice bright. But inside, I felt hollow, a part of me mourning the connection I was deliberately severing.---**The days turned into weeks,** and my resolve to ignore Nex deepened. I avoided him in classes, skipping our usual study sessions and opting to work with others instead. I filled my schedule with activities, joining clubs and volunteering for projects, anything to keep myself busy and distracted.

But the more I occupied myself with others, the more I felt the absence of his presence. I missed the way he made me laugh, the way we could talk about anything and everything. Yet, each time I thought about reaching out, guilt washed over me, reminding me that I was doing this for a reason. One evening, as I sat in the library, I overheard Nex talking to a mutual friend. His laughter rang out, warm and inviting, and I felt a sharp pang of regret.

I watched him from across the room, a knot forming in my stomach. He looked so carefree, so happy, and yet here I was, shutting him out, all because I was afraid of my own feelings.

"Hey, are you okay?" my friend Sarah asked, noticing my distracted gaze."Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, forcing a smile. "Just a little tired."But inside, I was anything but fine. I felt like I was suffocating under the weight of my choices. The laughter and chatter around me faded into the background as I wrestled with the decision I had made.

---

The following week, as we prepared for an upcoming group presentation, I found myself partnered with other classmates, intentionally avoiding any situation where Nex might be involved. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and I was sitting with a group in the student lounge, reviewing notes.

"Where's Nex?" one of my classmates asked casually."I haven't seen him around much," I replied, trying to sound indifferent. But the truth was, I felt a pang of sadness at the thought of him being alone, perhaps wondering where I had gone.Later that day, I made my way to the art building for class. As I walked through the hallways, I caught a glimpse of him in the distance, chatting animatedly with another student. My heart raced, and I instinctively ducked into a nearby classroom, hoping to avoid him entirely."Are you okay?" a voice startled me. 

I turned to find Joe, who had followed me in. "You've been acting off lately."

"I'm fine," I snapped, though I could hear the tremor in my voice. "Come on. You can't keep ignoring him like this. It's not healthy," he said, crossing his arms. "I have to," I replied, my voice breaking. "I can't keep feeling this way about him. It's not fair to anyone.""Not even to yourself?" Joe countered, his expression softening. "You're punishing yourself for something that isn't even your fault. You can't help how you feel.""I know, but it feels wrong," I admitted, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "I can't just pretend everything's normal when it's not."Joe stepped closer, his voice gentle. "You're not a bad person for having feelings. You deserve to be happy too.""But at what cost?" I whispered, feeling the weight of my emotions crash over me. "I don't want to hurt him or his girlfriend. I can't be that person."Joe sighed, looking at me with a mixture of concern and understanding. "You need to talk to him. Ignoring it won't make it go away.""I can't," I said, shaking my head. "I just can't."

---

The days turned into a blur of avoidance and distraction. I threw myself into my studies, but each time I saw Nex, my heart ached with unspoken words. I missed him terribly, but I felt trapped in a cage of my own making. One afternoon, I found myself in the art studio, working on a project. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, can I help you with that?" Nex asked, standing at the doorway, his smile bright yet tinged with uncertainty.I froze, the paintbrush hovering above my canvas. "Uh, I'm okay," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "Just trying to finish this."He nodded slowly, disappointment flickering in his eyes. "Alright. Just wanted to check in."As he turned to leave, something inside me broke. "Wait!" I called out, but it felt too late. He paused, looking back at me with a mixture of hope and confusion."I—" I hesitated, my heart racing. But the words wouldn't come. I felt caught between what I wanted to say and the weight of my guilt."Never mind," I said finally, looking down at my canvas, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "I'm sorry, Nex."

He lingered for a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but then he turned and walked away. The door clicked shut behind him, and I felt the walls close in around me. In that moment, I realized just how much I missed him. Ignoring him hadn't solved anything; it had only left a gaping hole in my heart. I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness wash over me, the ache of unspoken feelings pressing down on me like a weight.As I stood there alone in the studio, I knew I couldn't keep going like this. I had to confront my feelings, even if it meant facing the consequences. I had to stop running away from what was real. The only question was, could I find the courage to do it?