✗│𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 (Ellie Williams x Reader)

𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 - 𝙰𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

"𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧

𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝"

For the billionth time that night, you were busy telling yourself that what you were doing was okay, and that you weren't hurting anyone. Looking into Cat's eyes the way you were felt wrong. Every time you even so much as smiled, a shock of guilt flashed through you. The worst part was that she made you audibly laugh, which was something you hadn't done in ages.

The amount of relief she made you feel was enough to wash it right away. Not even the images of Dina and Ellie having fun together made you feel a little more okay. Because you knew that the fact that you were out drinking with Ellie's ex made you just as terrible as she was. Though you never fully got to hear how it ended, you couldn't assume it was anything mutual.

Ellie's behaviour had practically flatlined the moment she and Cat had split. It took her a full week to sneak out with you again, which was saying a whole lot. You never got around to ask her what had happened though, partly because you didn't want her to relive the pain, but also because you knew it wasn't any of your business. No matter how close the two of you were, some stuff stayed private, and that was okay.

"No you didn't!" You shook your head, grinning at the raven-haired woman in front of you before taking a sip of your strong drink. "I totally did! And you didn't even notice." Cat pretended to be offended, but the grin was giving her sarcasm away. "When even was this?" You asked, eager to hear about whatever she was going to tell you next.

There was something about the way she spoke to you that made you feel like the only person in the room. "Like six months after you first came here? I swear I sat next to you during at least three movies before I even built up the courage to say hello to you." She continued to grin, throwing back the rest of her drink as she watched you with an unreadable look in her eyes.

"Were you scared of me? Why?" You were fully chuckling now, as the alcohol was starting to catch up with you. "Oh, come on." The raven-haired woman teasingly said, as if you were being overly oblivious to something. "What?" You shrugged, gesturing for the bartender to get you another drink. "Ellie was like- all over you back then. She had already claimed you, and most of us were too scared to even say a word to you after that." Cat kept the grin on her face, but looked into her drink to avoid your eyes at the topic of your girlfriend.

"How did you two end anyway?" You suddenly changed the subject, the alcohol having given you a convidence boost you didn't know you needed. The expression on Cat's face softened a bit at your question, but the liquor seemed to have gotten to her too, because she answered you within a matter of seconds. "I mean I knew how she felt about you. I was just too in love to notice until one day I just-" She paused, and you weren't sure whether she was trying to find the words, or because she was scared of finishing her sentence.

Your eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, unsure about whether Cat was going to tell you the rest of the story you had been dying to hear for years. Cat took a few seconds, staring into her drink as she finally continued. "I realised that I wasn't with her for the right reasons. I wasn't in love with her." She revealed, causing for the frown on your face to grow.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You kept your eyes on her as her eyes remained glued to her empty glass. "The two of you were always so close. I guess I felt like there was no way for me to even talk to you. Not unless I..." The raven-haired woman muttered the last few words, but you knew exactly what she meant.

A part of you wished you could remain as oblivious as you were just a minute ago. "Does Ellie know that's why you ended things?" You asked her while trying your hardest to process all the information. Cat nodded at your words, confirming the reason Ellie needed to be reassured before you left earlier that night. "You should've told me." A sigh escaped your lips.

The bartender was about to refill her glass before Cat told him she was done for the night. "But I'm glad we're hanging out now. I always thought you were too cool to be my friend. Which I realise sounds weird but I was sixteen so that makes it... less odd?" You added, wanting to make her feel a little more at ease about the situation before the two of you parted ways.

"I had a good time tonight." Cat smiled softly at you, finally looking back at you. "Me too." You grinned, looking right back into her eyes. It felt good to know you hadn't completely fucked things up between the two of you. "We should do this again sometime soon." She suggested, causing for a huge wave of relief to wash over you.

The smile on your face grew wider as you nodded at your friend. "We should." After you said this, Cat started getting up from her chair, grabbing the jacket she brought and throwing it over her shoulder before saying goodbye. "Goodnight." She looked into your eyes with a soft smile once more before leaving the bar, leaving you by yourself.

————— ୨୧ —————

You tried to keep the noise down as you stepped foot in your house, assuming that Ellie would already be asleep. You paused for a moment to try and hear her breathing, in the hopes of it calming you down. Instead, you were met with complete silence. Before considering it any further, you flicked on the lights to see that your bed was empty. 

Ellie's side looked kind of slept in though, which caused for you to assume she had decided to go out later that night. It was already far past the time she would normally come home, so a part of you felt slightly worried as you hung up your coat. 

Getting ready for bed felt dreadful and numb, making you feel all weird inside. Something inside you just told you something was very wrong. Still, you managed to get into your pajamas and lay down in bed. You let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding in when your head hit the pillow, the tiredness truly kicking in.

You tossed over to see Ellie's side of the bed. Her absence felt oddly final, as if she was telling you something by not being home. This was one of the first nights since the two of you moved in together that she wasn't laying by your side. There were times when she felt like a ghost sleeping next to you, her presence merely confirmed by the sound of her breathing.

But no matter what, she had always been there, next to you. It angered you, knowing she was probably out with Dina, until you remembered who you had been out with all night. You couldn't help but wonder how she had spent those first few moments after you left. How had the mentioning of Cat's name affected her if she knew Cat was in love with you when she was with Ellie? At the time, how had she managed to hide the cause of the break-up from you?

A tear escaped your eyes as you finally closed your eyes. A melancholic feeling entered your gut as you tried to distract yourself with anything but the truth. You were having trouble knowing only company for that night would be your dreams, and that there was a chance you would wake up alone.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Word count: 1421

A/N: It's been over a week... I've sadly gone back to school with the intention of becoming an academic weapon so I haven't had a bunch of time to write. Maybe autumn will randomly give me an inspirational boost so that I can finally put an end to this storyline;)

Please vote for this chapter! I put a lot of time and effort into it<3