Can't Stay Away ✔️

42. Pain

A Y E S H A

There's no pain.

There's only shock and a chill so cold it slowly ices me to my core.

But there's also a glowing warmth that morphs into a freeing calm when Arjun says he loves me back. It's followed quickly by bone deep, soul destroying sorrow that I won't get to grow old with him after all.

It takes the last of my strength to open my eyes one final time. His face hovers above mine, awash with tears.
The pain etched in his features is so raw and visceral that it's almost enough to keep me from losing consciousness.

I ripped something inside of him.
It's a wound he'll never heal from. I don't want to leave him with that pain. I want to protect him as much as he's protected me.

I pray I'm not pregnant. I imagined Arjun protecting our baby just as fiercely as he protects and loves me. But now, all I can hope for is that it's only me dying. I can't bear the thought of him having to cope with the loss of our child, too.

If you're in there, little one, don't be afraid. Mama's going to be with you. Your dad is incredible, and he would have loved you more than anything. I am so sorry you couldn't meet him, baby.

I'm not ready to go.
The injustice of it kills me.

Another tear trails down the side of my face.

But my breathing gets shallower and the lights start to dim.

I guess it's time, even though I'm not ready.

No matter how much I try, there's nothing I can do to stop it.

With a devastating finality, the world goes black.
.....

Fate is cruel. I thought this was the end, but it seems it isn't.

I hear voices, panicked and urgent. My eyes flutter open, and I see him—my Arjun. We're in a car, and he's still trying to save me.

God, please give him the strength to deal with all of this. After you've taken everything from us, it's the least you can do.

He's kissing every inch of my face, whispering for me to hold on just a little longer.

I'm trying. I really am.

"Arjun..." My voice is barely a whisper, unfamiliar to my own ears.

"Fuck, baby, you're okay," he says, wiping the tears from my face—his tears. "We're almost at the hospital. You'll be fine. Just... don't give up on me."

"Make his death... painful," I manage to choke out.

He kisses me, deeply, passionately, like it's both our first and last kiss.

"We will make his death painful, baby. You'll be with me when I kill that motherfucker," he promises, his voice fierce and determined.

I hope so, I really do.