I vent here

A Letter I Hope Reaches You Well

Dear, Olivia, the readers, and my friends

I'm not feeling as awful as I was in the first chapter, but definitely not as good as the second one either. Just feeling kinda sad. Don't really know why, probably hormones or some shit, but either way I've been thinking. Of my friends. Now I have new friends from after I moved away, and some from before. And I'd like to thank my friends I've had forever. 

My two lovely best friends. I will call them J. and T., the two whom I've been with almost as long as I can remember. T. who I was much closer with when we were younger, and J., who I have had on and off opinions of but have grown so fond of through the years. My ride-or-dies. You have always been there no matter what. Even if I never told you what I was going through. Thank you.

Now obviously those aren't the only two I'd like to thank tonight, or my only two friends who've always been there, but they are the ones I really felt like I needed to thank. For everything. However as I was thinking about them I thought about some of my other close childhood friends. An ex-friend came to mind. We grew apart through the years. She was kind of toxic when we were young, but we all were really. I don't blame her for anything, she didn't know better. And neither did I, always looking up to her. Loved everything about her. My best friend for a while. I thought that I might've had a crush on her, that I'd never realised, but that didn't sit right. I never thought of her romantically, and I don't think, looking back on it, that that was the way I liked her. 

Continuing down this thought though, I came to a realisation. I did have a crush on close friends when I was young, a boy and a girl. I knew I liked the boy, but the girl was a very sudden realisation for me. Her name was, as you might've guessed, Olivia. I feel comfortable putting her name here because I haven't seen her in many years, and sadly don't think I will see her ever again. 

I only realised it now, but I definitely liked her. Noticed her smile and tried to match it to make her happy. My energy was always boosting when I saw her. The first person who'd ever annoyed me so so much I hated them but still always wanted to be around. I don't still have a crush on her, but it felt wrong to keep to myself. I doubt she'll read this, and if she does, I bet she won't even know it's her I'm talking about. But I'd like to say thank you for lighting up a couple years of my life, and sorry, for never getting to say goodbye when you left. 

So to conclude I'd like to thank everyone of my friends for making my life feel so important! Especially my best friends, T. and J., you two are my lifeline. This wasn't a vent, but a thank you. And a reminder to you dear reader, to notice the people you love. And thank them. Thank them for all the good they've done. And as usual, goodnight to all you wonderful people! Get some sleep, take care of your selves, and thank you for reading!

Until we meet again,

Zostrich

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