The weekend passed and I shut myself in my apartment. My routine revolved around eating and sleeping trying to recover from the tiring trip. Monday came and I was back at school.
I wasn't feeling like going to school so I skipped it and went to Yukino's secret hangout while riding my motorcycle. The sun was out but would be covered by clouds from time to time. Sunrays would touch my skin but it wasn't too hot that my skin would hurt. In fact, the breeze was cool.
As I walked through the path we walked last time, I realized how different the place was while the sun was out. Birds were chirping and the sound of leaves being blown by the wind was all I could hear.
About a few steps away, I saw a girl sitting by the piano. I was scared since the place was deserted and nobody in their right mind would go through this deep place surrounded by trees. As I walked closer and closer, I recognized that it was Yukino.
She hasn't seen me yet so I tried to sneak and scare the hell out of her. The moment I was about to shout, she turned into my direction and..
"Bah!" Yukino shouted.
I was so scared that my heart nearly left my body as I stumbled butt first on the ground. Yukino kept on laughing, holding her belly as if there was no tomorrow. Tears even started accumulating on her eyes. I think this is what they call tears of joy.
"You really thought I couldn't see you? Your reflection from this shiny piano as you snuck up on me slowly was really amusing."
"I guess you had your fair share of fun from me stumbling on the ground huh?"
"What's more funny was your reaction. You looked like you were about to collapse!" Said Yukino as she continued to laugh.
She helped me get back on my feet by grabbing my hand. I sat beside her on the piano seat as I settled down to rest.
"Why are you here?" Asked Yukino.
"Didn't feel like going to school after only 2 days of break from the trip. Forget about me, what are you doing here?"
"I'll meet up with my uncle later. So might as well cut classes rather than just attending 1 right?"
"Well, I can't scold you now can't I? Going somewhere?"
"Yeah, just the same old bonding between an uncle and his niece."
After a few minutes of random talk and me playing the piano, trying to cater her song requests, I wanted to ask Yukino about her opinion on something I've been thinking over these past few days.
"I used to write novels before entering high school. But I abandoned it just for social status. You know how I played soccer right? I did that just to keep my social status, not really because I have the passion to aim and become a professional."
Her gaze focused towards me as she listens attentively on every word I say.
"What a petty excuse right? Well I was immature. But I think I want to start writing again. But I don't know if I can. I feel like I'm not worthy to go back to something I once abandoned already. I realized after these past few days how my life's becoming more eventful. I want to make things that will make me happy. Selfish right?"
"Remember how I told you there's no such thing as out of our league?" Asked Yukino, so I simply nodded.
"It's the same as this one. There's no such thing that we are not worthy of. It just depends on our approach. If you feel that you aren't worthy, then just make yourself worthy of writing again."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is, instead of holding on to something temporary just to boost things such as social status, hold on to the things that are really important to you instead. This time, don't let go and move forward with the things you learned and felt when you abandoned writing. I'm asking you to bring with you the passion that you once had. Bring with you the eagerness to write and never lose it again. It's true, we can't please everyone, that will always be the case. But remember that there will always be someone out there rooting for you."
"But I don't know anyone who will."
"Then I'll be the first to root for you. And I'm sure the other guys will too. I'm sure Haruto is already rooting for you so I might not be the first one after all." Said Yukino while wearing her beautiful genuine smile.
Time passed as I continued to play the piano for her. A few minutes later, her uncle called. So we made our way back to my motorcycle and I offered to drop her off. On our way to her house and even while hanging out at her secret den, I noticed how Yukino kept on coughing.
"Are you sick?"
"Just caught a cold, I guess from the trip"
"You should rest then. Stay at home!"
"Yes captain, I'll do so after hanging out with my uncle."
After arriving, we were greeted by her uncle standing at their front door looking at me with those menacing eyes once more.
"So you're with this guy again? Lemme talk to him for a second." Said his uncle with a cigarette in his mouth.
Yukino went inside while her uncle and I talked outside.
"Are you dating my Yukino?"
"No, we just happened to bump into each other this time, actually even the last time."
"Anyway, thank you for dropping her off. Now off you go!"
"Yes sir!"
I went back to my apartment and lied down on my bed as I thought of what Yukino and I discussed earlier. I called Haruto and it rang for a few seconds before he answered.
"Yo Aoi what's up? Is something wrong? I never imagined that you'd call me considering how anti-social you are."
"Anti-social? Anyway, remember the job you said last time? Can you tell me about the details?"
"Am I dreaming? Aoi, will you be writing again?"
"Ye, so tell me the details."
Haruto told me the details about this job that he's referring to the other day. So basically, the job is to write novels for a publishing company. It's not half bad considering the pay and that I'm coming back from a long hiatus, so I guess this ain't so bad.Haruto said that he would recommend me and that I would start effectively next week. After I hung up the phone, my mind went to the realm of writing as I stared at the ceiling. It's like my brain was freed from its cage that I made.
Thoughts were surging and I felt like I could write a whole novel in one sitting so I stood up and went to my desk and started writing. Before I even noticed, it was already getting dark. I continued writing until I fell asleep.
It was a refreshing feeling, Freedom and excitement are the words that I would use to describe this surge of emotions. In this small desk of mine in front of my laptop, I found tranquility, something I lost during high school years.
YOU ARE READING
When Finding "Me" Turns into Finding "You"
RomanceAoi, a male college student who is struggling to find his own identity after succumbing to the pressure of people's expectations, was rejected by his long term crush that broke his heart. But little did he know that after this rejection, things wou...