Catch me if I Fall (by MysteriousMidnight on ao3)

Go Big or Go Home

Connor inhaled on his joint, holding it in for a long time, before letting it out. He was almost home, and he wanted to be high as fuck when he got there. It was the only way he could deal with his mom.

He thought back to dinner with Evan and Heidi. Anxiety aside, he'd had a... Well, he'd had a nice time, actually. Coming to that realization was incredibly weird, but he really liked Evan. He didn't feel like Evan was judging him or pitying him. If anything, Evan seemed to get it. Even when he'd had his outburst... Instead of getting mad or scared, Evan had helped calm him down. Maybe he'd been a little scared, too, but he hadn't cowered in fear or run away. He'd helped.

Connor stared at the ground, frowning in confusion. No one had ever tried to help him. Truly help him. Everyone always treated him like he was a child having a temper tantrum, or a drama queen who needed to calm down. If only it were so simple...

His thoughts lingered on Evan. Nervous, anxious, tree-loving Evan. Cute Evan. He blushed, remembering the way he'd called Evan 'cute' out loud. Why the fuck had he said that? Evan had been polite; when Connor corrected himself, he'd moved on without a word. But he probably thought Connor was a creeper now. He seemed too nice to say something like that, but Connor was positive he was thinking it.

"Fucking stupid," Connor grumbled, smacking the side of his head in frustration. Leave it to him to fuck up the first potential friendship he'd had in a long time.

He finished the joint just as he reached his driveway. He sighed, staring up at his house. He wanted to run – to just turn around and take off. But he knew he'd have to face the firing squad eventually. At least his dad wasn't home.. Maybe it would be easier. Maybe his mom would actually listen to him..

He braced himself, then entered the house. He didn't slam the door, but he let it close loud enough that his mom would hear it and know he was home.

"Connor, living room, now."

He flinched. Her voice was filled with barely-controlled anger. That was... rare. She usually coddled him, gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now he was really glad he'd opted to get high for this. He was shaking just a little bit as he finally entered the living room to face her.

She stood when she saw him, walking closer. Her arms were crossed, and her eyes were filled with fury.

"Getting high on school grounds?" She demanded, "Why? Why would you do that?"

Oh. He'd gotten high in public. He'd been caught. She was probably more worried about their reputation than anything else. Fine. He shook his head, mentally detaching himself from the situation. It would be easier that way.

"Care to explain yourself?" Cynthia asked.

"Nope," Connor shrugged.

"Connor, I demand an explanation! Why would you leave school during school hours? Why would you smoke on school property??"

"I'm a fuck up, that's why," Connor snapped.

"Watch your tone," Cynthia said firmly. "Explain yourself now, or we'll be having this conversation again with your father."

"No matter what I say, you guys have made up your minds that I did something wrong and that's it. Nothing I say will change your mind, so the 'why' doesn't matter, " Connor shrugged.

"It does matter," Cynthia insisted, softening her tone. She rubbed her forehead. Trying to be the 'bad cop' parent was Larry's thing, not hers. She couldn't do it anymore. "Connor, please," she begged. "Just talk to me."

"Funny thing is, I actually have a really good reason for why I did what I did. I think you'd be proud-" he paused, shaking his head. "Never mind, nothing I ever do will make you proud. It'll never be good enough."