Shadows of Regret

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

Ryujin Matsumoto

Friday morning arrived with a crispness in the air that made everything seem sharper, more vivid.

I walked into Kai's school, holding his small hand in mine as we entered the bustling classroom.

The room was filled with parents, kids, and the hum of excited chatter.

It felt strangely normal, something I hadn't experienced in years—being in a place like this, surrounded by everyday life.

Kai was practically bouncing with excitement as he pulled me towards the different stations set up around the classroom.

There were paintings on the walls, little crafts on tables, and various activities that the kids had worked on.

His eyes sparkled as he showed me everything, his enthusiasm contagious.

I found myself genuinely smiling, my usual guarded expression softening as I listened to him explain each piece of artwork, each project.

“Kai, can you come to the front, please?” the teacher called out, her voice warm and encouraging.

Kai's eyes lit up even more, if that was possible, and he practically skipped to the front of the classroom.

I followed him with my gaze, a sense of pride swelling in my chest.

This was a side of Kai I hadn’t seen much of before—confident, eager to share. It was a good feeling, seeing him like this.

“Today, Kai has something special to show us,” the teacher announced, and the room fell silent with anticipation.

Kai turned to me, his face beaming. “Dad, can you come up here?” he called out.

For a split second, I froze. The word “Dad” echoed in my head, and something tightened in my chest.

But I pushed it aside, nodding as I walked up to join him at the front of the room.

The other parents were watching, their eyes on us, but it didn’t matter. All I cared about was Kai and the happiness in his eyes.

“Do you have a coin?” Kai asked, looking up at me with that same innocent smile.

“Yeah, I do,” I replied, fishing a coin out of my pocket and handing it to him.

Kai took the coin, his little hands working with a surprising amount of focus.

He turned to the audience, his voice clear and confident. “I’m going to show you a magic trick!”

The kids and parents leaned forward slightly, all eyes on Kai as he prepared for his performance.

He moved behind me, standing on his tiptoes as he pretended to pluck the coin from behind my ear.

But it wasn’t just the trick that caught my attention—it was what he said next.

“A silent striker doesn’t need a gun to make his mark,” Kai whispered in Japanese, a small, proud smile on his face.

My heart stopped. For a moment, everything around me faded, the room going still.

The words Kai had just said—they weren’t random. They were the exact words my father had drilled into me when I was just a kid.

Words I hadn’t heard in years, words that brought back memories I had buried deep.

The applause snapped me out of my thoughts, and I forced myself to clap along with everyone else.

Kai beamed at me, his face glowing with pride. I smiled back, but inside, a cold dread had settled into the pit of my stomach.

“Kai,” I said, crouching down to his level as the room buzzed with excitement. “Where did you learn that?”

“Oh, a guy showed me!” Kai said cheerfully, his innocence only making the knot in my chest tighten.

“He taught me how to speak in Japanese and how to do the trick.”

I nodded, trying to keep my voice steady, but my mind was racing.

It’s nothing, I told myself. Just a coincidence. But deep down, I knew better.

The phrase Kai had said wasn’t something just anyone would teach a child. It was a lesson in survival, in power—something only someone from my past would know.

And then there was the trick. The exact same one my father had taught me when I was Kai’s age.

The same trick I had used to distract him before I killed him.

I stood up, ruffling Kai’s hair as I tried to hide the fear creeping up my spine.

“Good job, buddy,” I said, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears.

Kai grinned, oblivious to the turmoil inside me. As the teacher moved on to the next activity, I stayed where I was, trying to convince myself that it was just a coincidence.

But the memories kept resurfacing, the image of my father’s face, the coldness in his eyes as he spoke those words, and the way they’d haunted me ever since.

I glanced around the room, trying to focus on the other parents, the kids laughing and talking, but the anxiety was there, gnawing at the edges of my mind.

I had killed my father to escape the life he wanted for me, to break free from the cycle of violence and power.

But now, here I was, with my own son unknowingly echoing the same dark teachings.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay calm. Kai was my second chance, my opportunity to be different from my father.

But the past had a way of creeping back in, no matter how hard I tried to escape it.

I had to find out who this “guy” was that taught Kai the trick and the words. But for now, I had to push it aside.

Kai needed me to be present, to be his father. And I wouldn’t let the shadows of my past take that away from him—or from me.

As the day went on, I stayed close to Kai, watching him interact with his classmates, showing me his favorite parts of school.

But no matter how much I tried to focus on the present, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was coming—something that could shatter the fragile peace I was trying to build with my son.

And as much as I wanted to protect him, I couldn’t help but wonder if the ghosts of my past were already closing in.