Hidden in the Castle

Part 22

Chapter 21

“Should we be doing this?” she whispered before wincing when the noise carried through the empty halls.

Ramsey sent her an amused look that made her feel like the child and him the adult.  “Annabelle Nicholson, you said you wished to know how I know what I do.  You said that you wanted to return to this castle a stronger person.  Now, do you wish to see how it feels to be me, or are you scared?”

Anna knew that he used those exact words to rile her, that he could have said it a different way and she would have felt nothing.  As it was, she could feel determination swell in her chest, confidence straighten her spine.  Then she glanced down.  The determination left with the large sigh that escaped her mouth.  “I look ridiculous.”

Running a hand over his mouth, in what Annabelle knew was an attempt to hide his smile, Ramsey shook his head.  “You just look like a lad.  If it will calm your nerves, Cassie walked around in britches more often than not.”

“I am sure that she never looked like a lad when she wore these.”

Ramsey shrugged, agreeing with her words without actually voicing his opinion.  “The point was to disguise you.  What does it matter what others think if they don’t even know who it is they are meant to think it of?”

She opened her mouth, ready to answer his question before realizing that she hadn’t a clue what he said.  Her mouth snapped shut as she glanced down at herself once more.  If the point had been to disguise herself, she had to admit that Ramsey had done a good job.  Her black hair was pinned beneath a man’s hat; one she assumed was Ramsey’s.  The britches she wore were a little long, and her shirt tail, if it was not tucked in, would have been just above her knees.  She appeared exactly as Ramsey said, a lad dressing up in their father’s clothing.  A boy who had not yet grown into the man he would become.  For their mission, Ramsey had said that it was the best disguise, that people felt more comfortable telling a nobody something than they did a somebody.

Servants, people without titles, wouldn’t be listened to if they complained about someone who was higher in society.  No one would stop and believe that what they did or said to their servants would have repercussions.  It was why they would tell her things as a boy, but not as the woman she was.

“If you are finished convincing yourself, follow me.”

As he always did, Ramsey walked off without looking back, as if he were sure she would follow.  Even if she decided to stay behind, she had a feeling he wouldn’t truly care.  He would still go about his daily tasks, still gather up information the way only he could do.

“This may surprise you,” he began as she quickened her pace to reach him, “but I watched Uncle Ashmore growing up.  Every time he manipulated someone, convinced them to tell him their secrets, I watched.  I found it fascinating; the way a man can pluck thoughts from another while making it seem as if he was having a friendly conversation.  I learned everything I knew from him, but until recently, I never saw a reason to be like him.”

“Why do you?”  He turned towards her, those brown eyes just as dull as they ever were.

A small smile kicked up the corner of his lips and a spark lit his eyes for just a moment.  “For someone like me, someone who has no title, but a strong family, there is little I can do.  If I want to live as my father did, I could, but I have gotten accustomed to this life.  If I wish to make myself indispensible, I have to do as Ashmore did.”

“You truly believe that?” Annabelle asked with a small amount of shock in his voice.  “Do you honestly believe that the only way you will be useful is if you become Ashmore?  Ramsey, we love you.  We would never cast you aside.”