"Self denial is a game people play to avoid accepting the things laid in front of them, wether be it the truth... or the lies."
—
When people ask me who she is, I answer with: She is the woman who have told me that life will always be worth living with or without anything and anyone, but for me, it only started to become worth living when she entered my life.
She brought colours in my life that I thought I'd never get to see, for everything was just black and white. Not until her mesmerizing brown orbs landed onto me, and ever since then, all I could see was everything I ever wanted.
Her.
And everytime she looked at me, the only emotions she held on her eyes were love, admiration, pride, and above all, gentleness.
She's the subject of all my letters. My muse.
—
I then asked the people back; Do you think it lasted? How many letters do you think I wrote for her? Do you think she had the chance to read them?
Questions after questions, all were left unanswered.
Sure, some answered. But no one ever got it right. I mean, who am I kidding, how would they know?
When I kept it all...
As if they were something forbidden, that if you talk about them, someone or something will rip off your heart from your chest. Like how a paper gets ripped off its pages. Leaving you cold and numb. Emotionless, heartless even. I mean, it makes sense. For how can you feel if you have no heart? You'd be something good as dead.
Because darling, when your heart breaks, two things only happens. Either you grieve for it, or you become cold.
Cold? Yeah, and it's funny.
Because she, who used to always look at me with nothing but love, admiration, pride, and gentleness.
Now only looks at me as if I am nothing. Her soft and gentle eyes that I love turned cold that it makes me shiver.
She now looks at me as if I was never a part of her life.
—
And do you know what's funnier?
I know exactly why.
But will I ever say the words? No. Because if I do, then it will be real. And nothing of what I believed in will remain.
YOU ARE READING
Words I Refused to Say; Letters I Didn't Send
FanfictionA one shot story, or is it? Well, we ought to find out. The question is, do you have the time? Anyway, not worth reading, I'm telling you. It's predictable and shitty. Now be wise and not engross yourself into this. It's not a masterpiece. Come on...
