"I'm probably not even her type, there's no chances of us connecting"
"I'm in utter awe whenever I see her, butterflies in my throat, there's no chances of us tho"
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Zaymari Arise.
10:34 AM
"Running on E"by Brent Faiyaz blasting through the speakers
"Girl remember my face" "(for sure, for sure, for sure) " "While you're out there on your own"
I can't even lie yesterday I fucked up.
Who knew that shit would turn out that way, i'm really just trying to figure out how to talk to monti about it. I doubt she wants to talk to me honestly... but it's been eating me up I haven't got no sleep since. Paige was shocked as fuck when I told her we kissed but she claims it was bound to happen. I feel so guilty for telling her she wasn't my type. Ive only known her for like 6 minutes, but i'm in utter awe whenever i see her, butterflies in my throat...
i'm not good at accepting my feelings for what the fuck they are, that's my problem. I hurt people because I don't know how to allow myself to love or enjoy new connections. I don't let people in because I'm too afraid they'll leave and leave me stranded. Life goes on but I love hard and long, my feelings always linger onto shit and I get disappointed every single time.
I feel the tears coming, but I push em down. Can't get too emotional or I'll be gone for weeks.
I call Paige up, i need a distraction. She always helps my thoughts go away.
"yooo best wassup you good?" paige says through the phone while eating something "im hurting man..." i say while rubbing my face "i can tell, i love you, get dressed and come over. We gon cook and watch a movie just like we used to do back in high school" she says
"you always know what to do, be there in a few" i say before hanging up
"shit i don't know what to wear" i mumble. I find something simple and just throw it on, pull out my phone and snap a mirror picture. Me and my mirror go together real bad.
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