The Book Of Us

2. More Than Just a Light

I am alone in my room now, finally. I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the day settle in. It is always a weird mix of excitement and dread coming back to this place. I look around at the bare walls and decide to start decorating. Might as well make it feel a bit more like mine if I am going to be stuck here for another year.

I begin pinning up photos, spreading them out across the wall, then placing a few on my bedside table. Pictures of me with Heidi and Marima, some old family photos, and a couple of sunsets I captured last summer. Anything that adds some color to these plain walls. I pull out my books next, stacking them neatly on the shelf. Books have always been my escape—a way to disappear into another world when mine feels too heavy. I love losing myself in someone else's story, a place where things are simpler, or at least different.

As I place one of the books on the shelf, something slips out and lands on the floor. I crouch down to pick it up, and my breath catches in my throat. It is a photo of me and Liam. My fingers brush over his face in the picture, and I feel that familiar ache in my chest. I sit down on the edge of the bed, staring at his smile, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. I haven't seen this photo in a while, haven't let myself think about him like this. I press my lips gently to the photo, just for a moment, before slipping it back into the pages of the book and putting it away with the others.

I finish unpacking the rest of my things, glancing at the empty bed across from mine. Still no sign of a roommate. I wonder if I will end up with one at all. Honestly, I hope not. Having this room to myself would be a dream—my own little sanctuary away from everything.

Deciding to call it a night, I grab my towel and head to the bathroom. A hot shower and a fresh set of pajamas make me feel a bit more settled. Tomorrow classes will start, and I need to be ready for whatever this year throws at me. I crawl under the covers, pulling the blanket up to my chin, trying to let my mind quiet down.

Then my phone buzzes. I reach for it on the bedside table and see a message from Andrew.

"Miss you."

I roll my eyes and mutter under my breath, "God, I could throw up." I toss the phone back on the table, deciding this conversation can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I need to sleep and forget everything else, even if it is just for a few hours.

----

The alarm jolts me awake at 7:45 a.m. I groan, fumbling for my phone to silence the blaring noise. My thumb slips over the screen a few times before I manage to turn it off. I lie there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, the weight of another year sinking in.

I glance over at the empty bed across from mine. Still no roommate. It's weird—most people would have shown up by now. I wonder if there's been some mix-up or if I'll actually get lucky enough to have this place to myself. I rub my eyes, feeling the remnants of sleep still clinging to me. Sitting up slowly, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and plant my feet on the cold floor. I hold my head in my hands, taking a deep breath, trying to gather the energy to get up.

Finally, I push myself to stand and drag myself to the bathroom. The mirror isn't kind this morning; I look tired, even after a full night's sleep. I wash my face, hoping the cool water will wake me up a bit. I start my usual routine—brushing my teeth, then applying a bit of makeup, just enough to look like I have things together. A dab of perfume, and I feel a bit more like myself.

I grab my bag and my laptop, tossing them over my shoulder, and step out of the room. The hallway is already bustling with students rushing to their first classes. I make my way down to meet Heidi at our usual spot—a small nook near the back of the library where the sun hits just right in the mornings. Heidi is already there, leaning against the wall, her bag slung over one shoulder. She's always early, unlike me.