letters to the dead girl

day 7

it's been 7 days.

you said it was my fault.

you said I caused you to do it.

you never could take the blame could you?

my mom said they found you in the closet.

the one we painted yellow all those years ago.

the one we said we could always hide in when things got dark.

we got the idea after listening to "Yellow" by Coldplay.

you told me I was your yellow.

do you remember that?

or was it tainted with all the pain I had apparently caused you?

they put me into therapy after we found out.

they're making me write you these letters so that I can move on.

you would have laughed at me.

you once told me therapy was for the weak.

you would have done well in therapy.

they said it's normal that I'm not showing any emotions.

they said that it doesn't make me a bad person that I didn't cry at your funeral.

i didn't cry because I didn't go.

i was too busy watching the newest episode of that TV show you told me was childish.

some girl in our class told me the ceremony was beautiful.

i didn't have the heart to tell her that you probably sneered at her through the coffin.

you thought funerals were stupid, you said they were only for the people who were sorry that they didn't take the time to say hi.

you laughed at my grandmother's funeral.

you said her dress looked stupid.

you did always say that no one cared about you, and that no one would show up to your "death party" as you put it.

well you were wrong.

over two hundred people showed up.

but deep down you knew that they would.

you always could attract all the attention.

the death of such a "young, bright and deeply disturbed girl" is sure to shake a community.

especially if she left a note blaming her only friend.