The Whole Truth

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•Olivia's POV•

My god, whats going on with me?

I can't be in love can I? And why must it be with a girl? Ecspecially one who is already taken..

I mean, I could never confront Brie about being with Julia, but that hug at practice the other day was just so.. Loving and tender..

I wish that those were my arms Brie was crying into..

I only told her that I liked Damon to cover my tracks, but he's such an asshole..

I could never love someone like him..

But I'm not so sure that I want her to think I like him.

That could definetly ruin any chance I have with her..

Oh god what am I thinking? Why can't I just like the boy? Why can't I be a normal girl that just falls in love with the bad boy who gets her heart broken a few times and moves on?

I can handle a normal heartbreak with a guy, and maybe that's because that's not real love that I feel..

But why do I have to be a fucking lesbian?

Why did Brie's perfection have to waltz right in and assure that for me?

Why'd she have to come in and be so awkwardly cute; shaking my hand longer than usual on the first day we met, paying for my ice cream as if we were on a date..

Why does she have to be so beautiful that my soul cringes at the idea of never witnessing her again?

When she slept over, I suggested Truth or Dare with the rather dastardly hope that I might get to kiss her, but she's too good of a person to cheat on sweet Julia like that..

How is Brie able to make me want to do something so guilt-raising, yet I don't gain any guilt at all?

And why can't I get over the feeling that this sweet walking rose may be the death of me?

Maybe because she'd probably never consider being with someone as pathetic as me..

Damn, I can't even gain the courage to fight off my Father's brutal attacks, so why in the hell would someone so strong ever be in love with someone as weak as I am?

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