Forgive and Forget.

Chapter 2 - I'm Cooked.

I'm partners with Noah. FUCKING NOAH. This must be an accident. Has to be an accident. I'll just ask the teacher whenever she enters.

I'm hoping it was an accident. It has to be, right? I stayed like this until the teacher entered the lab. I asked her about the partnering assignment, and she said it was randomly assigned.

My heart drops as I hear the response. I don't want to work with Noah. I decide to not worry about it. Maybe he'll change. I doubt it. I go sit down where Noah is sitting. I sighed deeply as I didn't want to sit next to him.

He looked at me and smirked again, but it wasn't mischievous. It was a regular smirk.

The assignment was to create a poster board on how science is all around us.

The class was finally over. I really dread this. I'll have people pray for me. I sighed as I walked with Noah.

Noah looked around as if he were trying to find someone.

"Looks like we're partners, I'm going to have so much fun." Noah whispered into my ear. I literally shivered. "Also, we're doing this project at my house." I also shivered. It wasn't even cold out.

I just nodded as I followed Noah. WAIT! I'm literally just following my bully? Should I trust him? After all he did to me. But. I do yearn for the pain he gives me.

I'm going to trust him. Since I forgive. I get into his car, and he drives... recklessly. I had to hold onto something the entire ride. But we finally arrive at his home.

I rethink everything. Am I really doing this? I mean, I have to. It's for a project. I don't want to fail. So I have to... trust Noah.

He unlocks the door and calls for me to enter. He's... not verbally harassing me? I follow him inside, and his house is decent. It's better than mine.

I follow him up to his room. I shouldn't trust him. Again, I don't want to fail.

His room is cozy. I instantly find myself getting comfortable in it. I sit on his bed.

"Get off my bed fag." He yelled at me. I got off his bed, and I raised my arms to defend myself. But he didn't hit me.

"I'm not gonna hit you unless you actually deserve it. God. So vulnerable." He whispered that last part but loud enough for me to hear.

"Yeah, because of you." I mumbled. But apparently, he heard me as he pushed me against his wall.

"Because of who?" He spat at me. I raised my arms again, but Noah grabbed my wrists and held it above my head with one hand. "Listen. I didn't do shit." He punched me in the side. It hurt like hell, but it felt good.

I groaned in pain. He then lifted my head to look at him. I can tell he was analyzing my face for any kind of reaction. My eyes probably showed mostly fear.

He smiled a bit, knowing that I was fearing him. He kept looking at my lips and eyes, making me feel insecure about them. As he made me insecure about my body.

We kept this position for a while, which was 3 minutes, but it felt like forever. But I got to look at him again.I had no choice.

His face. The way his hair was still covering his eyes slightly. His eyes analyzing my face, shifting quickly.

"If you keep looking at me, at least take a picture." Noah whispered into my ear. He finally let go of my hands.

I massage my wrists as they hurt. That didn't really help. I hate everything right now.

I go to sit down on the floor and start to write down our assignment answers. Noah moves down to the floor, and I flinch. He laughs at me, and that makes me feel bad about myself.

"Awww. Did I make you feel bad? Too bad fag." He said, mimicking my flinching movement. But I heard a twinge a guilt in the first sentence.

Hours pass, and I mainly work on the assignment while Noah does nothing except tease and make fun of me. I even noticed him glancing at me.

I yawn, and I get up, but Noah pushes me back down. Why?

I look at him, which angers him. I apologize heavily, and he crawls towards me, which is very scary. I back up into a wall, and he is right in front of me.

I get scared, and I pull my arms up to defend myself. But that doesn't stop him. He moves my arms down to my sides, and he's eye level with me.

He smirks and looks me up and down somehow. This is awkward to me, so I push Noah back, and I get up successfully.

He doesn't do anything, is he shocked? I use this time to get out of his room and run down the stairs and out of his house.

Once I'm outside, I run to a nearby space. Which was a parking garage. I hide behind a pillar, and I catch my breath.

I try to slow down my breathing, but it doesn't want to. My breathing is fast. I hear someone calling my name, but I ignore it as I try to focus on breathing.

Tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes as I slide down the stone pillar. This isn't the first time this has happened.

I begin to cry softly, muffling the sounds with my arm. I even bit my arm to stay quiet. It feels like the only time I can cry is when I'm alone because I've been told and taught that boys and men shouldn't cry.

Tears keep falling down my face and landing on the concrete parking floor. I quietly curse myself. I curse everything.

I heard the person who was calling my name getting closer and closer. But I still ignored them. I keep crying. 

I keep biting my arm to muffle my crying. I'm stupid. So stupid. How did I let it get this bad? I'm so stupid. Why do I still exist?

I shouldn't exist. I should be loving women, not men. My brain goes through a lot of my insecurities.

I really hate myself. Even Noah agrees. He's right. I'm a faggot. I should just...

Just as soon as I get to that. The person whose voice I recognized was Noah. He comes up to me and sits down next to me.

I instantly wipe away my tears and look at him. He looks sympathetic. Why does he look sympathetic. After this, he's gonna fucking bully me. I know how this goes. He's gonna comfort me, then he's gonna go back to bullying me and make my life a living hell. So I decided to act with what he's gonna do.

"Hey, Alex. I'm sorry." Noah admits, he puts his arm around my neck. I lay my head on his shoulder, and I start to feel tired. I forgot how comfortable it was to lay on someone's shoulder.

He softly laughs, and he moves me closer to him. I instantly get warmer, my plan is failing, he's the first person to actually make me fail this plan.

He's so warm. I could fall asleep right now.

And I did because...