Letter To No One

Wanting to erase yesterday

The endless cycle of attempting to apologize for my wrongdoings stems from my own insecurities. When I spoke those hurtful words, I never wanted you to leave; I yearned for you to ask me why.

I quickly forget how difficult it is for you to express your feelings and how much I crave reassurance. It's a cycle of trauma that we both endure. Each day, I wish I could turn back time to erase those words that made you doubt your worth in my life.

You will always be the one my soul seeks and my heart longs for. I miss the gentle press of your lips on my forehead, the peace and calm they brought. I long for the way your arms wrapped around my waist, melting away the stress and chaos of everyday life. Your tender touch eased the pain I carried for so long, and your mere presence filled me with a sense of tranquility, ignited by your simple smile.

It's astonishing how profoundly you impacted my life in such a short time. I could write a thousand words in hopes they would reach you, but the most important one is simply: I'm sorry. I realize now that I should have been clearer about my feelings instead of jumping to conclusions that only caused further hurt.

My insecurities lingered, and I needed reassurance while spiraling into a dark cloud of what-ifs. You encouraged me to be selfish, a concept I struggle with; I didn't want to burden you with my need for reassurance, especially given the traumas I'm working to overcome.

Yet in the silence of no contact, I find myself selfishly yearning for you, for us. I hold on to the hope that when the time is right, you'll find your way back to me. I may not believe in love at first sight, but I know my heart and mind surrendered to you long ago. I meant it when I said you would be my first and last love.

If it's meant to be, I will wait for you a thousand times over. And if it isn't, I truly wish you nothing but happiness and love, even if it's not with me.