YOU SWAN , HE FROG !

12

After regaining my memories, I didn't disappear immediately. Though my soul had become more transparent, I was still bound to James, just with a bit more freedom in how far I could move around him.

I followed James to the funeral home.

He, usually so composed, now stood rigid by the door, unable to take a step closer. 

The staff inside were talking. "Considering the condition of the remains, it's impressive they recovered this much. The body had to be pieced together... and she was pregnant, too." 

"Yeah, her wrist and finger joints were severely deformed, probably because she was trying to protect her baby in the crash." 

James turned as pale as a sheet, his body swaying. If he hadn't been holding onto the wall, it looked like he might have collapsed right then. 

One of the staff noticed him. "Are you family? You can come in now."

James slowly, shakily, made his way forward. Once the staff left the room, it was just him and my body, covered by a white cloth.

His tall figure blocked the light from above, and I could see how tense his back was, his fists clenched so tightly his nails must have been digging into his skin. He didn't seem to notice. 

He stared at my covered body and began to speak, as if to himself.

"On the way here, I remembered something I never told you." His usually calm voice trembled slightly, though the tone remained measured, just like it always had been. 

"We were young at the time. I went out to buy something, and I saw a little boy taking money from a blind old lady's bowl. You rushed over and started fighting him. You were so small and skinny, but you clung to his hand fiercely until he gave up and handed over the money." 

"I'd heard rumors about you, that you were an orphan who liked to steal." 

"But that day, with your hair all messy and a bruise on your lip, you caught your breath for a moment, then calmly put the money back into the old lady's bowl and left." 

"The old lady couldn't see it. The little boy wouldn't say anything. But I saw it." 

"After that, I started paying attention to you. I couldn't help it. My eyes kept finding you. So, when someone accused you of stealing the class money, my first instinct was to stand up for you." 

"I don't think I'll ever forget the look in your eyes when you realized I believed in you."

"Over time, you started noticing me too. You'd blush when we made eye contact. You'd stare at me when you thought I wasn't looking." 

"Back then, at the award ceremonies, you were the one standing next to me. When I played basketball, you handed me water. When I won the sprint, you were there with flowers, smiling and congratulating me. During the math competition, you were on my team when we took first place."

"Then, Emma came along." 

He paused, raising a hand to cover his face, and I saw something wet slip through his fingers.

"Annie... I was the one who noticed you first. You liked me back. How did I end up falling for someone else?" 

I stood there, silent, feeling a pain I thought I had long since buried. 

Yes. Why? 

Why did things turn out this way, when I was the one who knew him first? 

I wasn't naturally cheerful or outgoing. But around James, I always tried to be like a little sun, doing everything I could to make him happy. 

I'd never been this gentle with anyone before, and I never would be again. 

"Annie, when I proposed to you, I really meant it. I wanted to spend my whole life with you." 

"Annie, talk to me." 

"Please talk to me. Please." 

"Annie." 

"Annie." 

"...My love." 

He called out to me again and again. 

But no one answered him. 

He became agitated, even desperate, his lips turning pale as he kept calling my name, over and over, until his voice grew hoarse, until he couldn't call anymore. 

"You said you'd never leave me..." 

His voice was filled with confusion, a deep rasp that sounded like it had been dragged from the pit of his soul. His shoulders shook, and his eyes were bloodshot, making him look like a cornered, desperate beast—terrifying, yet so pitiful at the same time. 

I watched this broken man in silence. 

Perhaps, only now, did he truly understand that I was gone.