Ellipsis

I promised myself to never catch
This disease called love again.
But here I'm in my window pane,
Looking at your house and daydreaming.
Asking myself if you see me the way I see you.
Asking myself if you feel what I feel inside
When I see you talk, when you smile
When you laugh and even when you cry.

I do wish to let you know that I see you
A little bit more than a brother.
Little being me wanting to wake up
In your arms every morning.
And me being your hype man whenever
Your mood is a little daunting.
Little being me wanting to be there
When your hair turns grey,
And be the one to say things twice
Because your old ear didn't catch it the first time.

I do wish to let you know that my day
Is not complete if I haven't seen your brown eyes.
Believe me I do, but when I open my mouth
To speak the words, I always forget what I wanted to say.
I guess it's all easy when it's in my head,
'Cause then I don't have to say it in words.
I wish I could ignore the feeling inside
But God, you're so damn hard to resist.
Tell me why out of all the billion people
In the world, I chose to fall for the guy
Across the road.
It isn't a choice, I guess you would say.
But I would say it's because none of them
Live in the house opposite to mine.
I would say it's because none of them puts
A smile on my face during the hard times.
And I would say it's because none of them
Makes me coffee the way you do in cold nights.

Do you really not see the way how I stare
At you when you talk?
Do you really not see the care
I have for you when you're sick?
Do you really not see it in my eyes
When you call me your friend, that I want to be more.
Or is it all pretend because just like me,
You too are scared to admit your love to me?

Now I realise that love isn't a disease.
Love is a game, a game of trust and compromise.
A game you can win if you believe.
A game that is better played by two players, they say.
But I beg to differ, because mine is better played
By only one player, mine is better played in my mind
Because then, I get to keep the delusion that you
Would one day be mine.
Mine is better played as omitted words
That will forever live at the back of my head.