The Lost Mafia's Angel

Chapter 4

*WARNING*
This chapter talks about depression and suicide thoughts read with caution; you've been warned.

Adriana's Pov

Right now I'm left alone in my thoughts. Which at times is a danger to myself. My supposedly biological parents left 10 minutes wanting to give me time to relax and freshen up before dinner in 4 hours. 
Here I stand in my luxurious bathroom staring at something in the mirror—something being me. I stare at the lifeless blue and green eyes I share with my father and brothers. My ratted type 4C hair and dull coco brown skin littered in marks, scars, and bruises, only being skin and bones.
I always ask myself, why didn't I just end it all when I had the chance, I could have been free.
Instead, I cut myself trying to find some type of release, some type of control over my horrible life.

One cut for being born
One cut for being worthless
One cut for disrupting my biological family. 

I look at the new art designs I've added to my skin on top of the already artistic body I own, trying to feel something, anything, but all I get is nothing.

Singing is something I do when I feel like nothing. As I discard my rugged closed in the laundry basket, I avoid the mirror, not wanting to see my disgrace of a body. As I go into the shower, I'm immediately lost, having no idea what to do. After much time wasted, I turn on the cold water and begin to have a much-awaited shower. While I am showering, I hum my favourite song, Bad Dreams by Faouzia.

After my rather quick and unpleasant shower, I return back to my room wearing a different hoodie and leggings, making sure to check all my fresh bruises and cuts and reapplying bandages to some and covering the ones visible on my face with foundation. 

I lie on the massive king-size bed I was given, exhaustion hitting me immediately. I try to resist sleep, not being brave enough to want to go to sleep in a new place with new people who could destroy me. As my fight against sleep deteriorates, my eyelids close with one last thought on my mind. Should I keep fighting or should I give up?

<<<<Time skips>>>>

7:50

I wake up feeling someone touching my hair. I abruptly get up in fright, completely forgetting where I am, only to come face to face with my fathers, confused and worried. "I was just calling you down; dinner is ready, Princessa," he says softly. I cautiously nod and get down from my bed heaven and take his outstretched hand.

As we decide the mountain if stairs, a comfortable silence settles between us. "Your three older brothers are here; they might look scary but there are teddy bears once you get to know them," Mr Romano says. I nod my head in response. In all honesty, I'm shitting myself, The brothers I met today were really big even my twin and they all had a shit ton of tattoos and muscles. If my oldest 3 look like that, then I'm finished. 

3rd Pov
Still in her daydream, Adriana is unaware of the new room they have entered and the numerous eyes on the pair. Leonardo, noticing this, gently tugs her hand, trying to get her attention, but it doesn't work. He tries again but this time calls her name, which gets her attention She gentle flinches, which wasn't missed by anyone. She looks up and immediately she makes eye contact with everyone in the room. When her eyes reach the three new faces she didn't meet this morning. She, unaware of her action, shrinks and hides behind her fathers legs, shitting herself at the three massive and scary men looking at her with cold eyes. The three eldest Romano sons are confused and hurt by there little sisters actions but do not portray any emotion showcasing there hurt. "Come on, princess, let's go sit," Leonardo says, becoming aware of his daughter's unwillingness to go. 

As they go to the table, Leo tries to place Adriana in a seat next to her twin, but frightened Adriana tightens her hold on her father's hand, trying to indicate her disinterest in sitting beside him. Leonardo getting the message says."I ragazzi si spostano di un posto rispetto al posto di Alexander" (boys move down a seat from Alexander's seat). Relief fills Adriana as she doesnt have to sit beside her twin. 

As everyone is seated, the cooks bring out food and place it on the table. Immediately everyone digs in, Adi (Adriana, im tired of writing her full name.) . looks lost, her small arms not able to reach or have the strength to place food in her plate. 

Adriana's Pov 

Can I eat or not?deciding against my better judgement, I decide to take some tomato soup and bread, food I know and am familiar with; all these other foods look weird. My father looks at me weird "Is that all your having, princess?" immediately all eyes are on me one of the triplets scoff, mumbling something along the lines of "attention seeker". Almost instantly, I want the ground to eat me. Why is what I'm eating a problem. I nod my head yes and he frowns, " but princess, you've not eaten at all today; you need to eat more food. I nod my head, disagreeing with him. His frown deepens. "Why?" he asks, handing me his phone. I write some lie, saying, " I don't usually eat dinner, so when I do, I eat soup and bread." I hand him back his phone and he reads it. Then he says, "Ok, I'll let you off today, but starting tomorrow, your eating a proper meal for breakfast lunch and dinner, ok?" I nod, then he smiles.
Then a deep voice startles me, saying "Sorelina." I look to my left to see my scary older brother. " We've not been introduced I'm your eldest brother Alexander I'm 26 and he is Alessandro, my twin and your second oldest brother," he says, pointing to the person beside him, I nod. " I'm Emilio, your third oldest; I'm 24," the guy infront of me says and I nod. 

An awkward silence follows, the only sound being the click and clack of knives and forks. Feeling food, I begin to nibble of bread, and accidently I make eye contact with my supposed twin brother All I'm met with is a look of disgust and anger Instantly, I lower my head. Wanting to get out of this room, I write on my notebook, "can I be excused? I'm full and tired Can I go to bed?" and show it to my father He looks at me, then nods but not before saying, "tomorrow you'll be going with your mother to buy you some clothes if that's ok or do you want to go later on in the week?" I write later, then he nods. "No problem, princess.". I then get up and leave, not bothering to look back, and dash off to my room and getting straight into bed.

I've been staring into the darkness now for hours, sleep unable to come to me; my mind refuses to shut down. All my thoughts are clouded by my nightmares and the horrible events that happened to me, leaving me with multiple sleepless nights. I sigh getting up and heading towards the balcony. The sky is dark; there are no stars, not even one. The moon is barely visible itself, trying to blend in with the darkness of the sky. I breath in the cold, fresh air. Although it's freezing outside, I feel numb. A hollow feeling of nothingness spreads rapidly through me and the buzzing feeling of cutting comes to me. I feed in to the feeling again. I admire the 4 fresh cuts displayed on my bruised wrist, noticing the lack of space because of all the times I've cut myself. I'm pulled out of my admiration when I hear a door handle rattle, I begin to panic, immediately hiding my blade I wrap my wrist with the small face cloth and pull my sleeve up. I listen as footsteps enter my room, "Princess," I hear my father whisper. Getting up, I gently open the toilet door, making eye contact with him. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure your okay," he rambles out. I nod and go back into my bed He comes up and tucks me in, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead He looks at me with eyes of love, adoration and sadness. Never being displayed with such emotions, I've no idea how to react. " I'm so happy we fond you, princess I was falling apart without you," he says with tears in his eyes. Seeing him having tears brings tears to my eyes (yes, she is one of those people who cries when other people cry). He begins to panic. "No, no, no, I don't cry I didn't mean to make you upset." Finding him funny, I smiled the first real smile in my life. My smiling leads to him smiling, "Princessa, don't scare me like that." He kisses me again on the forehead before wishing me good night. "I love you," he says before closing the door. Sleep finally coming to me. I close my eyes with a smile on my face, enjoying the comfort and peace he brings me. 

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