My YOU

5. CONFUSED

"It's raining so hard today" I whispered to myself as I was walking on the street, eager to get home, so that I can enjoy the rain on the roof of my house, the rain poured, thick and relentless, I was looking up at the sky, and enjoying the moment. As I got home, I dropped my things at my room and rushed towards the roof. Opening my arms wide and spun slowly, embracing the rain. Smiling and laughing at my fullest. As every drop of the rain touched my skin, It felt refreshing. I was feeling the wetness, soaking my clothes fully in the rain. A reminder of how endless and eternal my love for the rain truly is.

Finally the rain stopped after an hour or two. And obviously I was enjoying the rain until the last moment. It was time to get to my room, I was fully soaked. I rushed towards my room, took a quick shower and checked my mobile. There was no message from Sam today, I wondered if everything's okay. So, I texted him.

"Hey, how are you? Is everything okay?," I texted him.

*I didn't get any reply for 2 hours, he wasn't even online. I was getting worried. Thinking what could have happened? Why he isn't online today? Why is he ignoring me? Is he bored of me? Trying to ghost me or something?. My mind was filled with all types of negative thoughts. By 8:00pm, I still hadn't heard from him. I was getting bored. So I decided to go to bed early. I got to my bed, layed and closed my eyes. "Okay, it's time to sleep now,"
I was trying to sleep but I couldn't. My heart was feeling something weird. It was like a "I miss him" type of feeling. My heart was getting heavy, and I wanted to talk to him. And tell him everything that happened to me today. Tell him how it was raining so hard today, and how I enjoyed the rain. I wanted to tell him about everything. I was thinking about him, and suddenly my eyes were shutting, my mind was drifting, I was finally asleep.

( I slept only for an hour and got up) It's 9 pm now, I checked my mobile and saw texts from Sam. My heart shifted from feeling weird to feeling a sudden peace. I swiftly opened his texts and read them.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to ignore you, actually, I had so much work at the site, and my mobile switched off and I didn't took my charger with me at the site," "If you're free right now, I'm on the app with others. Come and join us."

Phew, I'm glad that nothing bad happened, I texted him back, that I'm coming right away. I opened the app, found him and joined the table. At first there were some new people, I met them, introduced myself and all that, after they left, there were only two of us left in the table. At that time, I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to know his name, his age, what does he do. I wanted to hear about him. I was a fool that I didn't asked for his name back then, but now I want to. So I finally asked him.

"Sam if you don't mind, can I know your name?"
"Why would I mind, sorry I didn't tell you that at first, I actually forgot to mention my real name. It's Sajid." He replied.

Its such a pretty name, oh I want to hear more about him. Can I call him by his name? Why do I want to call him by his name? Why suddenly I want to hear more about him, why do I want to know about his age, Why?. I was getting all those mixed emotions. Why and why. But one thing was clear, that I wanted to, I wanted to know him more. I don't have an answer for all my 'WHY'S'.

"It's such a pretty name, I love it, seriously seriously." I said

"Now it's your turn, come one tell my your name now," he said.

"It's Fatima."

"Oh, I love it, seriously it's good." He replied.

"Thankyou," I replied him back.

" So, ahm Sajid. Tell me more about yourself. I want to hear your story," I said.

"Actually, it's a secret don't tell anyone, I'm 18 but because of my voice people think that I'm 25 or something. I have a job and I'm a mechanical engineer," He said.

"Wait a minute, your 18 and you have a job?" I replied.

"After I graduated from my college, I joined this job, and didn't go to any university," he said.

"Aaaaa, now I get it, it must've been hard for you," I replied.
"Nahh, it's okayy don't worry," he said.

We talked more about ourselves and all that, but still I wanted to hear more, I Want to listen to him forever. Forever and ever. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but there's a sudden peace in my heart. A sudden joy and relief. I wanted to talk to him more, I wanted to talk to him every day, every hour, every minute and every second. All I wanted to do was linked with him. I wanted to talk to him more, I wanted to hear him talking about his self more. I want to be more close with him, as close as a bestfriend. I was feeling like, he's standing at the front of me, and I'm lost. Lost in the way he talks. Lost in his chocolate brown mesmerizing eyes. Lost in him. Fully lost.

All those feelings were confusing me. Do I like him? Why am I thinking about him like that? Why. Why suddenly I want to be more close with him close like a bestfriend. I want to be his bestfriend.
And suddenly it started to rain again. It was raining heavily. I could smell the scent of rain. The sound of rain droplets touching the floor. The sound of thunder. My heart was messy like a storm. Confused and raged. My why's and what's had no answer, so I waited. Waited until I get all the answers. As the rain was being more heavy and stormy I was feeling the rain and lost in my thoughts. Thoughts of him. Waiting for the morning to come, so I can talk to him again.