Liyana

INSERT 5

Liyana

Today is one of those that I just miss home, how I'm going to get there I also don't know. I think it's high time I bought myself a car, it's not like I don't have the money but being a Lembede has me by the throat.

 All those questions I will be asked like, "Thabi where did you get the money ".

Comments from my grandmother's lastborn (Babomncane), "Yazi wena Liya ngane yami bekumele uyinike mina lemali ngithenge inkantini, umuntu kade aqaleka (You know Liya my baby you should have gave that money to me so I can buy some weed, its been long )

I grew up with them smoking their weed in front of me, but it had to change as it triggered something in me and my pipes as they would block every time I inhaled. That was the same thing that happened to my sister that died while I was 3 years old. So I'm not a healthy kid after all. I take my phone and dial Aphiwe's (My friend from KZN ) number and she answers on the first ring, strange hey.

Me : "No no Phiwe ayenziwa leyonto ." (You can't do that )

Aphiwe : "Aybo ngenzeni mina ?" (What did I do )

Me : "You answered your phone on the first ring and that is unacceptable skat "

Aphiwe : "There is nothing wrong about me answering my friend's call on the first ring and something told me someone important is going to call me so I had my phone on que waiting by playing Subway Surfers."

Me : "Ohh I'm important .I'm honestly flattered ,thank you "

Aphiwe : "Right on time ,unaye umuntu ohlekisana naye ?" (Do you have someone that you are dating ?)

Me : "Yeah I do"

Aphiwe : "Hayi kanjalo wena slima ,mina ngibuza ukuthi unayo yini indoda not lodoti wakho wokuba yindoda ?(Not like that you fool, I'm asking if you have a man not this rubbish of yours of being a man )

Yep she hates the fact that I like girls and she once told me that she no longer feel safe around me,what if I catch feelings for her and tag her along in this thing of mine .

Me : "Not yet ."

Aphiwe : "We both going down to KZN end of semester ,I'm going to hook you up with some niggas "

Me : "I don't want any Zulu guy near me "

Aphiwe : "Relax mjita sizofumana ongumXhosa kalok "(Guy,we will find a Xhosa one)

Me : "I also don't like those ones but I'm game "

It's not like I have a choice .

Aphiwe  : "You better start buying dresses, skirts and heels because I don't want to see any of those baggy clothes of yours and takkies ."

Me : "I know this Phiwe ,we've done it before remember ?"

Aphiwe : "I remember, just that I don't trust your wardrobe right now and its been long. I know that you gave those dresses to your cousins right after we stopped with those dates."

She knows me very well .

Me : "I don't have the energy to do that ,you know my size just put the clothes and shoes you want for me in a cart and I will pay for them ."

She screams, killing my eardrums .

Aphiwe : "I can put my clothes also ne ?"(right?)

Me : "For the why ?"

Aphiwe : "I'm going to be your plus one making sure you go to those dates,phela wena you are untrustable "

Me : "Yeah you can"

Aphiwe : "What is the budget ?"

Me : "Not more than R15K "

Aphiwe : "Love you chomma "(Friend)

Me : "And please order after exams,I have a feeling these are going to trappa me ."

Aphiwe : "Relax you got this, use those brains in them books not i courting the same gender ,oThabisa bayasangana yazi ."(Thabisa is crazy you know )

I'm used to her so it does not affect me .

Me : "You know I called you so you can take your uncle's car for me and I take it to the spin fest with you not this blind date business you are busy with ."

Aphiwe : "You are going to go with me ?"

Me : "Yes ."

I've always left her behind even after she risked it all and stole the car for me from her dangerous uncle.

Aphiwe : "You just gave me a motivation to not steal it this time around but ask for it from my uncle. Plus he seems to have a nice spot for you in the nhliziyo ."(heart)

Me : "Leave me alone wena, that guy is 37 years old ,we can never happen ."

Aphiwe  : "So if he was young you could have happen ?"

Me :"Noo ! Wtf Aphiwe, I DON'T DO GUYS  get that in your big skew head "

Aphiwe : "You are going to do them I'm telling you. When is the spin fest vele so I know when to ask for the car ."

Me : "I'll update you but you should ask for it before Friday "

I drop the call before she pisses me off more .She likes pressing the buttons she last saw working to see if they are still working and that is what I hate about her.

ME +Muzi Mngadi = Ukufa (death).It will depend who kills who first. I hated that guy from the day I started being friends with Phiwe and it became worse after I turned 12 because I would notice the way he would look at me. That dude even changed the way he talks with me, it was like he no longer saw me as a kid ,that mubiza (ugly thing) who used to play in the street and greet him as Uncle Muzi if he passed by us playing .

He is just a paedophile .