Ad eternum

Chapter 1

Nothing made sense—no logic, no reason; her mind and body were spinning at full speed in a whirlwind of emotions that refused to accept the facts. It wasn't real, she told herself; this was a dream, a nightmare from which she had to wake up at all costs. Hervé tried in vain to console her, but he was also confused and had finally retreated to a corner of Ottilie's house, staring at a fixed point, saying nothing.
"She's having a nervous breakdown," she heard Ottilie say, without being sure if she was referring to her or her husband. There were more people around, probably neighbors or relatives, but Blanche wanted nothing to do with them. She babbled incoherently, aware that her behavior was erratic, rocking back and forth, her head resting on her fists.

Hervé sprang to his feet.

"They were under your care," he said, pointing at her with a trembling finger. Blanche did not look up then, and he continued speaking. "You were supposed to be there, Blanche, damn it. You were supposed to be there, you, you! It's your fault, it always has been. Why did it have to be Thérèse, damn it, why wasn't it you? You were always a spoiled child; you never saw or wanted to see what others did for you. You took it all for granted, damn it. The Queen of Sheba, of Monaco, of your own childish mind, I don't know. Why is everyone dead, damn it, except you?"

Blanche, with her head still bowed, heard someone pull her husband away. In silence, she stood up. No one asked where she was going. Nor did she want to explain.Why was everyone dead except her? It was a good question, but she didn't want anyone asking her that anymore. It would make them happy, no doubt, and she... she could see, as she should, the only two reasons for being that the world had given her.

She didn't go far; off the path, there was a small clearing where she took out her father's old revolver. It was loaded; she had made sure of that. She placed the barrel under her chin, pressing hard, and pulled the trigger.

She thought she heard a loud bang. 

Everything went black.

"At last," she said to herself as she collapsed to the ground.

Some time passed, during which she expected some mystical outcome, something that would make her realize she was in a different dimension.

 She felt a slight burning in her jaw, but she wasn't sure if she was imagining it or if it was real. The burning was intermittent, but Blanche was sure the bullet had gone off. She opened her eyes. The sky was the same; it didn't seem to have shifted. She felt her chest fill with frustration, with anger, even rage. 

Did the world hate her so much that it wasn't enough to punish her but also prevented her from escaping the punishment? Feeling still stiff and dizzy, Blanche began to straighten up, with branches poking her everywhere. She looked toward where the path should have been. There was nothing—no street, not even a trail. The houses were gone; the clearing stretched on until it bordered what looked like a forest."I'm dreaming," she told herself. 

Of course, that made sense: it was probably one of those hallucinations that occur in the moments before dying. She had heard of that before.Once she felt calmer, she stood up."Oi!" she heard someone shout from afar. Blanche turned around. 

Behind her was more forest, pines, and from them emerged a relatively young man, dirty and dressed like someone portraying a character from ancient times. He kept talking to her; she thought he spoke French with a mix of Swiss and German accent, but even though her German was decent, she couldn't understand a word of what he said.

The man in front of her looked her up and down with wide eyes, showing a mixture of astonishment, disbelief, and fear. Blanche noticed he was barefoot, and he smelled different from anyone she had ever met. 

He looked at her, muttering a couple of sentences in a tone that Blanche interpreted as fearful.Blanche looked into his eyes. She knew that characteristic by its medical name: heterochromia of the iris. 

The young man had one eye a light blue, like the sky, and the other as dark as the earth they had turned over to place the two coffins of her children.

 She noticed his discomfort at being watched, and she looked away.He muttered a couple of unintelligible words, but among them, she caught the word "duirix," which he said three times. It was strange; this man didn't sound like any European she had ever encountered, but he didn't seem foreign, at least not based on his physical traits; added to that was the fact that he was dressed worse than a beggar.

He began pointing emphatically at the forest. Sure that she had nothing to lose, Blanche followed him."Duirix," what could that word mean? But, who cared? Nothing cared for her anymore. So she kept following the stranger, because every single option seemed equally irrelevant.