Always at the back of my mind

Feburary 2020

For the first time in 5 years, Lucy would be missing out on an England squad. Not because she wasn't good enough, but simply because she had managed to pick up an injury. She hated the idea that she wouldn't be a part of it. She had even wanted to push through and go anyway, but it had been Alex who had reasoned with her. Alex may have been slightly younger than Lucy, but she had an authority about her that made Lucy take notice.

Calling Phil and having to, in Lucy's eyes, admit defeat and decline the call up was so difficult. She'd FaceTimed Keira that evening and just cried. Keira had comforted her the best she could from a different county, but it didn't succeed in making Lucy feel any better. She knew deep down that she was making the best decision - attempting to train, or even play whilst injured was stupid. She knew that. She was used to playing through the discomfort her knee provided her from time to time, but she knew that as she got older, she had to take more care of herself than she had as a teenager and young adult.

As she tried to look at the positives that this could bring, it was Keira who pointed out that it would proper open up the door for a young hopefully to show their skills. Lucy remembered her first senior call up and how exciting that had felt for her and she'd never looked back since. She hoped that whoever got their chance at a call up would be half as excited as she was all those years ago.

The next day when she'd spoken to Keira, she'd told her it was a young striker playing for the North Carolina Tar Heels, that had been given a call up in her place. Lucy's attention had prickled at the name of her old college - this girl must be young.  Lucy felt an odd sense of satisfaction that Phil had chosen to replace her with a striker, and not another defender. She couldn't explain that fully but it did lift her spirits. As she packed her bag to leave for her physio appointment, she thought maybe she'd found the silver lining Jordan had been banging on about over FaceTime to her earlier.

24 hours earlier, Alessia had been sat in the campus library, going through a current census, when her phone started vibrating, signalling an incoming call. Not recognising the number, she excused herself from her dorm mates and headed outside to take the call.

5 minutes later when she stepped back into the library, she was wearing a huge grin on her face and feeling on top of the world. An England call up, she just couldn't believe it. Phil hadn't said much, but she knew someone must have been withdrawn as the squad was announced a while ago, but this was it - this was her chance and she intended to grab it with both hands!!

As she sat back down at her computer, she reluctantly closed the browser on the census she'd been going through and opened her emails to search of the itinerary Phil was going to send across. Sure enough, it was already there. She sent it to print and as she retuned to her computer, itinerary in hand, instead of closing her computer down and leaving, reluctantly she opened Google again. Her hands hovered over the keyboard for several seconds, as she went back to the previous page she had been looking at. As she scrolled through the list of names, she was brought out of her thoughts by Lotte placing a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Still looking?" her friend asked her gently.

Alessia nodded, not trusting herself to speak at that moment. Tears prickled in the corners of her eyes. When she looked back on todays date in the coming years, she would possibly remember it with fonder memories - her first senior call up was a big deal and considering only just over a year ago she was wondering if she'd ever be able to play again, it felt huge. But today also signified something else for Alessia. She'd never discussed it with her brothers since and she wasn't sure if the date held the same significance for them to, but today was the anniversary of when they had last seen their little sister.

"Come on, let's get out of here. We'll grab a coffee and head back to your dorm - we can talk about it there if you want" said her friend quietly, as she squeezed Alessia's shoulders supportively. She and Alessia had been friends for a long time and had played on for the Tar Heels together for 3 years. They'd gone through youth England camps together for many years and Alessia knew she'd be thrilled to hear about her England call up.