Within

forty five

Ariana stepped out of the small, cramped shower, the steam swirling around her in thick clouds. The water had been lukewarm at best, but it was enough to wash away the grime, the blood, the vomit, and the chaos of the last few days. Her body still ached from the restraints and the nausea still lingered, but for the first time in days, she felt almost human.

She wrapped the towel tightly around herself, her skin still damp, and stared into the foggy mirror. Her reflection was blurred, but she could make out the hollow look in her eyes, the exhaustion that clung to every inch of her face. She barely recognized herself anymore.

The woman she had been before all of this felt like a ghost... distant, unreachable.

Negan was just outside the door. She could hear him pacing in the bedroom of his quarters, his heavy boots thudding against the wooden floor. He hadn't said much since their conversation. After he had unlocked her restraints and led her here, there had been an uneasy silence between them. Neither of them knew what to say, but the weight of their shared fear hung in the air like a fog that refused to lift.

Ariana pressed her palms into the cool sink, her eyes closed as she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She had no idea what was coming next, no plan, no clear direction.

And the thought that she might be carrying Negan's child, it was almost too much to comprehend. She had spent so much time hating him, resenting everything he had done, and now they were bound together in a way that terrified her more than anything else.

The door creaked open behind her, and she turned, clutching the towel tighter around herself. Negan stood in the doorway, his silhouette large and imposing, but there was a softness in his eyes, an uncertainty that mirrored her own.

"Shower help?" He asked, his voice low and careful, as if he didn't want to intrude on whatever fragile moment she was having.

Ariana nodded, her throat dry. "Yeah... yeah, it did."

Negan lingered in the doorway for a second, his eyes scanning her face, then the towel wrapped tightly around her body. He wasn't his usual self, there was no smirk, no teasing comment or sarcastic remark. Just silence. He looked as uncertain as she felt.

He cleared his throat, glancing down at the floor before looking back up at her.

"I, uh... I got some clothes for you." He said, nodding toward the bed where a pile of folded clothes sat.
"Figured you wouldn't wanna put on that old shitty stuff again."

Ariana followed his gaze, noticing the clean clothes for the first time. She had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't even registered them.

"Thanks." She said quietly, her fingers gripping the edge of the towel.

Negan lingered for a moment longer, his face tight with emotion.

"I'll give you some space." He muttered, turning on his heel to leave, but Ariana's voice stopped him.

"Negan."

He froze, his hand halfway to the doorknob, then turned back to face her. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes softened at the sound of his name on her lips.

Ariana swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest as she took a tentative step toward him. "We need to talk. About everything."

Negan leaned back against the doorframe, his arms crossing over his chest, but his gaze stayed locked on hers.

"I know." He said softly. "I've been thinkin' about it too."

There was a brief pause as they both tried to find the right words, the silence between them thick with unspoken tension. Ariana dropped her gaze to the floor, her fingers fidgeting with the towel's edge.

"I don't know what's going to happen." She admitted. "I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet, but... if I am..."

Negan nodded slowly, his face hardening with resolve. "If you are." He said, his voice low but firm. "Then I'm here. No matter what. It's fucking non-negotiable."

Ariana looked up at him, her eyes wide with uncertainty.

"Why?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why now? After everything... why do you care so much now?"

"Because this ain't just about me anymore." He said, his voice tight with emotion. "This is about you. About us. And if there's a chance... if there's a chance that you're carrying my kid... then I can't just stand by and pretend it doesn't matter."

Ariana stared at him, her heart racing. "What if I can't... what if I can't forgive you?"

Negan's face tightened, and he took a slow, deliberate step toward her.

"I know I can't erase what I've done. I know I've hurt you bad, and I know I can't fix that overnight. But if you'll let me... I'll do everything I can to make it right."

Ariana felt her chest tighten, a mixture of anger and confusion swirling inside. "You can't just make everything okay."

"I know." He replied softly, his gaze never leaving hers. "But I'm not going anywhere, Ariana. No matter what happens. I'm not gonna leave you to deal with this alone."

She took a shaky breath, her grip on the towel loosening slightly as she stared at him. The Negan standing in front of her now wasn't the same man who had taunted her, manipulated her, hurt her. He looked... afraid. Vulnerable. And as much as she wanted to hate him, as much as she wanted to push him away, something in his eyes made her hesitate.
Negan stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of wet hair from her face.

"I'll earn it your trust again, doll." He murmured. "One way or another, I'll earn it."

Ariana's breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. The room felt too small, too charged with tension, and she suddenly felt the urge to pull away, to put distance between them. But she didn't. She stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes locked on his.

For the first time in what felt like forever, there was no pretense between them. No games, no manipulation, no lies. Just the raw, unfiltered truth. And it scared her more than anything.

Negan's hand lingered by her face, his touch gentle but firm, and for a moment, neither of them moved. The air between them crackled with unspoken tension, a mix of fear and something dangerous, something electric.

"I'm not the man I was before all this." Negan said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. "But I can be better. For you."

Ariana's chest tightened, and for the briefest of moments, she let herself believe him. But the fear still lingered, gnawing at her insides, reminding her of everything that had come before.

"I need time." She whispered, stepping back from him, her hand clutching the towel once again.

Negan nodded slowly, understanding in his eyes. "Take all the time you need, darlin'." He stepped back, giving her space, though his gaze never left hers. "I'm not goin' anywhere."

With that, he turned and quietly left the room, leaving Ariana alone in the silence, the weight of everything pressing down on her chest. She sank onto the edge of the bath, her mind a whirlwind of emotions, trying to process what had just happened.

Her fingers tightened around the towel as she stared at the door he had just walked through. For the first time in a long time, she wasn't sure what scared her more, the idea that he was telling the truth, or the fear that he wasn't.