Sour Lemon Book Reviews

What if Geto is Your Master...?

What if Geto is Your Master...?

by mothboyikari (67/100)

Title: 9- The title is fitting for what the book is about, and tells you essentially what the deal is without spoiling anything. 

Cover: 6- I think the cover is relevant and visually appealing enough, just not something that draws my attention if I wasn't already looking for/at it.

Summary: 9- The summary does an excellent job of telling us what the book is about, as well as listing important content warnings and other relevant tidbits that is really helpful to know without having to dig for it. I just wish there was a little bit more of the hook to sample your style of writing from a glance. 

Opening Impression: 6-There are 3 non-story chapters to wade through before getting to the actual story. While I understand wanting to include these, it gets frustrating to load that many parts before you can even decide if you like the story or not. My suggestion is to have some kind of hook before that, or move them to be the last three chapters. Especially for those who may have to watch advertisement videos between chapters. The opening intro of the actual story leaves the reader with suspense and a question to answer. 

Characters: 4- I think the characters may feel a bit flat. The narrator character is the only one with any real depth, but it doesn't have much growth or development so far. And while I entirely understand this is a smutty fanfic and the point of it isn't probably to focus on characters/plot as much as *ahem* other purposes, I still have this as a judging category. 

Dialogue: 4- The dialogue wavers between feeling fluid, clever,  and natural to painfully forced. I would suggest trying to say what you are writing out loud as you edit to help get a better sense of flow in certain parts. And definitely try to say it how you envision that character saying it. 

Setting: 9- Each new important scene is described pretty well and as a reader I have a pretty clear idea of where I am whether it's location or flashback. The transitions are relatively smooth as well. 

Pacing: 10- The pacing is really good from what I've read so far. It seems like the story is planned out decently to have such a good ebb and flow to each chapter and the overall story. I also really like the fact that you have the estimated time to read at the top of each chapter. 

Spelling/Grammar: 4- For the most part, there is relatively little errors in the way of spelling/grammar except for the fact that the tense switches back and forth from past and present quite a bit. It's very distracting. I would figure out whether you want it to be past or present tense and then fix all the inconsistencies. Of course, the flashbacks are fine and makes sense to be past tense.

Overall Flow: 6-I think the story has okay flow. If you were able to fix up some of the more unnatural dialogue and the tense errors, I think it would really elevate this story. All in all, it's fairly decent if you want to read a smutty fanfic!

Total Score: 67/100

My favorite part: I like the scene where Geto blow-dries the protagonist's hair. It is such a gentle and intimate moment, especially highlighted in contrast with some of the more primal scenes. 

Something I would recommend: I went over my biggest recommendations for the respective categories. so at this point reiterating them would just be a  bit redundant. 

Would I recommend this book to others? As a book to just pick up and read? Not at all. But if someone specifically asked me "Where can I find a spicy Geto book?" then I would send them a postcard with explicit instructions on how to find this story as it would check those very specific boxes while still being pretty good in quality.