Forbidden

Chapter 12

The next morning, I woke up feeling lighter than I had in weeks. Nate and I had reached some kind of understanding—an unspoken promise that we'd figure things out together, step by step. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was enough for now.

I got dressed and headed down to breakfast, feeling a strange sense of calm that was unfamiliar but welcome. The Great Hall was already bustling with students, and I spotted Ally at our usual table, waving me over with her usual enthusiasm.

As I slid into the seat across from her, Ally gave me a knowing look. "So, how's the boy?"

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't stop the small smile that tugged at my lips. "We talked. It's... better."

"Better?" Ally raised an eyebrow, her expression half-amused, half-incredulous. "Care to elaborate?"

I hesitated, picking at my toast. "We're going to take things slow. He doesn't want to rush into anything, and neither do I."

Ally's face softened, and she reached over to squeeze my arm. "That's good. I think that's really smart. You both need time to figure out how this fits into everything else."

I nodded, grateful for her understanding. "Yeah, that's the plan. One step at a time."

But even as I said the words, there was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. While Nate and I had agreed to take things slow, I couldn't help but wonder if there were parts of myself I still hadn't fully faced. Things from my past I had carefully locked away, pretending they didn't matter, but which were still very much a part of me.

I pushed those thoughts aside for now, focusing on the present. Ally and I spent the rest of breakfast chatting about classes and gossiping about the latest Hogwarts drama. It felt good—normal—even though the world around us was far from simple.

Later that afternoon, I found myself walking the castle grounds alone. The air was crisp, the sky a pale blue as autumn started to make its presence known. I wandered aimlessly, lost in thought, until I ended up by the Black Lake.

I stood by the water's edge, watching the gentle ripples as the wind brushed across the surface. Being out here reminded me of the years before everything got complicated—before the weight of expectations, heartbreak, and uncertainty had settled on my shoulders.

As I stared out at the lake, memories from my past began to surface. Memories I had tried to bury for so long, but which now felt impossible to ignore.

It had been years since my parents' deaths. I still remembered the day like it was yesterday—how everything had changed in an instant, and how I had been forced to grow up too fast. I hadn't really let myself grieve, not properly. Instead, I'd thrown myself into school, into distractions, into being strong for everyone around me. But underneath it all, there was still a part of me that had never fully healed.

I sank down onto a rock by the water, hugging my knees to my chest as the memories washed over me. I hadn't talked about my parents in a long time. Not with Ally, not with anyone. It felt too personal, too painful. But lately, I'd started to realize that maybe keeping it all bottled up wasn't doing me any favors.

Maybe Nate was right. Maybe I didn't have to carry everything alone.

I don't know how long I sat there, lost in my thoughts, when I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I glanced over my shoulder and, unsurprisingly, saw Nate walking toward me.

"Hey," he said quietly, coming to stand beside me.

I offered a small smile, but I knew he could see right through me. "Hey."

"You okay?" Nate asked, sitting down on the rock beside me, close enough that our shoulders brushed.

I shrugged, not entirely sure how to answer. "Just... thinking."

He didn't push for more, just sat there in comfortable silence, watching the lake with me. Nate had a way of being there without demanding anything from me, and it was something I appreciated more than I could put into words.

After a while, I spoke again, my voice barely above a whisper. "I've been thinking about my parents."

Nate didn't react outwardly, but I felt the subtle shift in his posture, as if he was bracing himself for whatever I was about to say.

"I don't talk about them much," I continued, staring out at the water. "I guess I never really dealt with it. I just... moved on. Pretended I was fine."

Nate was quiet for a moment before he spoke. "You don't have to pretend with me."

His words were simple, but they hit me hard. I'd spent so much of my life pretending—pretending I was strong, pretending I didn't need anyone, pretending I wasn't hurt. But here was Nate, offering me the chance to be real, to be vulnerable.

"I was so angry for so long," I admitted, my voice thick with emotion. "I felt like the world had taken everything from me, and I didn't know how to process it. So, I just... shut down."

Nate reached over, his hand finding mine, and the warmth of his touch grounded me in a way I hadn't realized I needed.

"I don't know how to let go of that anger," I whispered, my throat tightening with the weight of the words.

"You don't have to let go all at once," Nate said softly. "But you can start by not carrying it alone."

I looked at him, really looked at him, and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn't offering me a quick fix, wasn't trying to solve my problems for me. He was just... there. And for the first time, I realized how much that meant.

"Thank you," I said, my voice barely audible.

Nate smiled, that small, genuine smile that always seemed to make the world feel a little bit brighter. "Anytime."

We sat there by the lake for a while longer, the silence between us filled with an unspoken understanding. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I had to carry the weight of my past on my own.

As the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting the lake in hues of gold and orange, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was finally ready to start healing.

Later that evening, after returning to the castle, I found Ally in the common room, curled up with a book. She looked up as I approached, a soft smile on her face.

"Hey," she said, setting the book aside. "How was your walk?"

I hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside her. "It was... good. I talked to Nate."

Ally raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Oh? And?"

"I told him about my parents," I said quietly, still feeling the weight of the conversation.

Her expression softened immediately. "Jules..."

"I'm okay," I reassured her, though my voice wavered slightly. "I think... I think I'm finally ready to deal with it. With everything."

Ally reached over and pulled me into a tight hug, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't resist. I let myself be held, let myself feel the comfort of her presence.

"You're not alone," she whispered, and I knew she wasn't just talking about my parents.

"I know," I whispered back, and for the first time, I truly believed it.