IKILH (gxg) Book 2

Chapter 10

VALERIA'S POV

I can't believe I texted her.

I really thought she wasn't going to respond, and when she did my stomach was in knots. It seemed like she didn't want to cancel our study session, but that would be me looking too deep into it, right? Our small interactions have been on my mind 24/7. I couldn't get her out of my head. Anytime she looked at me, I felt utterly vulnerable. Anytime I made her smile, it warmed my heart.

Who was I kidding, I was not over her. I needed to vent, I needed to be honest about my feelings. The first step in that is being honest with my friends.

I texted the group chat -

Do you guys think you could come over?

i need to talk to you guys about something

An hour later, my girls were at my house.

"So what's up?" Nicole asked.

"Yeah you scared us, are you okay?" Brenda added. Nessa just looked at me, knowing exactly what this was about.

"I uh-I haven't been honest with you guys," I said. They looked at me confused.

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?!?" Brenda exclaimed.

"Oh my god Val if you're pregnant what're you going to do??" Nicole added.

"I'm not pregnant," I laughed, "actually far from it," they looked at each other confused. "I uh, I haven't been honest about a lot of things, specifically about my friendship with Olivia."

"Yeah, you never told us what happened," Brenda said in a sincere tone.

"I-I didn't tell you guys what happened because I wasn't ready to talk about it-" I paused, "Olivia and I were in like a secret relationship," I admitted out loud. "We were secretly dating for a couple of months last year and things ended after the championship game."

"Awwwh Val," Nicole got up and hugged me, "I wish you would've told us sooner."

"Yeah Val," Brenda also hugged me. I felt my tears start falling down my cheeks.

"I uh, feel really shitty for not telling you guys sooner. It's just been hard..." I sniffled, "I handled things pretty bad with her, I was never honest about my feelings because I was scared."

"What were you scared of?"

"Admitting that I like girls. It was scary, I mean it still is but it just feels like it's something I have to come to terms with."

"I can only imagine, but we'd never judge you Val. We don't care who you like, we just care about you," Brenda said.

"Is that why you and Liv don't talk anymore?"

"Yeah, I fucked up. She told me she was in love with me and I told her that I didn't feel the same way, then I just kind of cut her off."

"Well are you in love with her?"

"Even if I was, our relationship is beyond repair."

"You never know," Nessa chimed in.

"Yeah, have you talked to her about how you feel?" Nicole asked.

"She hardly speaks to me-" I paused, "I know you guys say you feel like I've been sulking lately and that's because I have, mostly because of the breakup. It's not fair to you guys to have to put up with my debby downer mood."

"Well everything makes a lot more sense now," Brenda said. "So how do you move forward? Do you want to?"

"I-I don't know, I'm conflicted."