The door clicked softly behind me as Joost closed it, and the warmth of his apartment wrapped around me. It smelled like him—clean, with a faint hint of something warm. Although I had just been there a couple of times, it had a quiet intense familiarity.
I stood there for a second, just breathing it in, feeling the quiet settle around us.
"Sorry for just dropping by like this," I mumbled, staring at my hands. They were shaking a bit, so I squeezed them together to try and stop it.
"Don't be," Joost said, his voice calm.
Joost walked toward the living room, glancing back at me with a small, knowing smile. "You want some coffee or something?" he asked, his voice gentle, like he was offering me the world instead of just a cup of coffee .
I shook my head, my throat tight. "No, I'm okay."
He nodded and didn't push. We walked to the couch, the silence between us calm but charged with something unspoken. Joost sat down first, leaving space beside him, his posture relaxed but his gaze attentive, watching me in that quiet way of his. I sank down slowly, my body feeling heavy as the weight of the night began to creep back in.
We didn't say anything for a while. He was just there, sitting next to me. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, rubbing my palms together to keep myself grounded. But it wasn't working. I could still feel it—everything from the dinner, the tension with my dad, the guilt that never left.
I stared at the floor, my breath coming in shallow bursts. "I thought I could fix things with my dad," I said, my voice wavering. "I really miss my family" I continued
My throat tightened again, and before I knew it, the tears started to rise. I tried to blink them back, swallowing hard, but it was no use. It all started to spill over, and I couldn't stop it.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, wiping my eyes quickly. "I didn't mean to—"
"It's okay," Joost said softly. He reached out, gently brushing a tear from my cheek, his touch light and comforting.
"I just—" I gasped, trying to hold it together, but the tears kept falling. "I feel so alone. When my brother died, it felt like we all died with him. There's no family left."
Joost's arms came around me, pulling me into a hug. His embrace was warm and solid, and I let myself melt into it, burying my face in his chest as the sobs broke free.
"It's okay to cry," Joost murmured, his voice soothing.
I held onto him like he was the only solid thing left. My hands clung to his neck, and his head rested gently on mine. His hug was so warm, so comforting.
After what felt like forever, I straightened slightly, still wiping my face, trying to catch my breath. Joost stayed close, his presence steady.
I turned to him, my vision blurred from the tears, but I could see the calm understanding in his eyes, deeper now, as if he saw through all my defenses.
"I just feel like I'm drowning sometimes," I confessed, my voice barely a whisper. "And no one's ever really there when it happens."
Joost's thumb brushed softly across my cheek, sending a warmth through me. "I'm here," he said quietly, almost like a promise.
I looked at him, his gaze locked on me as if I were the most important thing in the world.
"Aths, I'm here," he reassured me.
I didn't say anything, but I didn't pull away either. I let myself lean into him, just a little, testing the space between us. Joost didn't move, but his body shifted slightly, making room for me. His eyes flicked down to my lips for a moment, and I felt my breath hitch.
Without thinking, I closed the small distance between us, my lips brushing softly against his. The kiss was tentative, barely there. Joost hesitated for a second, then his hand slid to the back of my neck, pulling me closer as he kissed me back, slow and deliberate, like this was a moment he'd been waiting for. And I realized I had been too.
The kiss wasn't rushed or desperate—it was unhurried, soft, as if we had all the time in the world. His lips moved gently against mine, warm and comforting, with the faint taste of tobacco lingering between us.
When we finally pulled apart, I rested my forehead against his, my breath still shaky but calmer. His hand remained on the back of my neck, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles on my skin.
When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me with such tenderness, as if he wanted to shield me from everything. He shifted slightly, pulling me closer, dragging me onto his lap, and without a word, his fingers lightly traced my lips.
"So beautiful," he whispered before leaning in for another short kiss.
"I'm so tired," I whispered, exhaustion finally catching up with me.
Joost nodded, his expression softening. "Come here, liefje," he said, his voice gentle.
He guided me to lie down on the couch, wrapping his arms around me. He pulled a soft blanket over me, and I nestled closer, resting my head on his chest. The warmth of his body was comforting, grounding.
As I closed my eyes, a mixture of relief and guilt washed over me. I was grateful for his presence, for the way he made me feel safe, but I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt—especially with Max waiting for me.
But in Joost's arms, the guilt faded, at least for now. I wasn't alone, not tonight.
"You're right where you belong," he whispered softly, "in my arms."
—-
Hallo everyone. So, IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!! I had so much fun writing this one. Anyway, get ready for some serious drama coming haha.
Hope you're all doing good
Oli
YOU ARE READING
BEGRIJP JE ME - Joost klein
Fanfiction' Why is it so hard for me to open up to people? Why can't i just tell someone everything? ' A woman who suffers in silence, a woman who feels deeply lonely although she is surrounded by love ones. A woman who meets a men who will change everything...
