BEGRIJP JE ME - Joost klein

chapter 25

The moment I saw Joost with that girl, my stomach clenched like I'd been punched. I stood there, watching her laugh as she rested her hand on his arm, leaning in like she was comfortable—too comfortable. It shouldn't have bothered me. I shouldn't have felt this knot of jealousy twisting inside me, but I did. Every fiber of my being screamed that something was wrong. It was that smile—the one he'd always given me, the one that made me feel like I was the only person in the room.

I shouldn't have felt this way. Joost wasn't mine. He was never mine. I had Max. I had chosen Max, and I stayed with him because it was the right thing to do—or at least, I kept telling myself that. But now, seeing Joost with someone else, I wasn't so sure.

I couldn't stay there. Tonight had been too much. My legs felt weak as I turned away, pushing through the crowd. I needed to find Max. The urgency hit me like a wave. I looked around the room, scanning the crowd for any sign of him, my heart racing. Maybe seeing him would ground me, remind me of why I'd made the choices I had.

But he wasn't there. I weaved through the crowd, bumping into people, apologizing hastily as I pushed past them, my breathing growing faster with every step. Max always hated parties like this, but he'd insisted we come tonight. Why couldn't I find him?

I wandered outside, hoping maybe he was getting some air, but nothing. Panic was starting to settle in, creeping up my spine as I walked back into the house, looking through every room, asking people if they'd seen him. No one had. The tension in my chest grew tighter and tighter until I couldn't take it anymore.

I pulled out my phone and called him. No answer.

I called again. Still nothing.

I finally gave up and headed home, hoping that maybe he'd already gone back to the apartment. It was something he did sometimes when he'd had too much to drink—just leave without a word. I tried to steady my breathing as I made the walk back, but my mind was racing.

By the time I reached the apartment, my hands were trembling as I fumbled for the keys. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was dark, save for the faint light coming from the bedroom. The air was thick with a familiar scent—alcohol, cigarettes, and something else I couldn't quite place. My heart skipped a beat as I walked down the hallway toward the half-open bedroom door.

I paused just outside, my breath catching in my throat. Something felt off. I knew it before I even stepped inside. Slowly, I pushed the door open.

Max was there, sprawled across the bed, but he wasn't alone. The girl beside him was half-covered by the sheets, her arm lazily draped over his chest. They were both asleep. My breath hitched, and for a moment, it felt like my world collapsed in on itself.

I couldn't breathe. The sight of them together was like a dagger to my chest. I felt sick, the nausea rising from deep inside me as I stood frozen in place. I didn't even recognize the girl. She was a stranger, faceless in the dim light, but that didn't matter. She could've been anyone. What mattered was Max.

"Max?" My voice was barely a whisper, shaking and weak.

He stirred, blinking groggily as he turned his head toward me. His eyes were red-rimmed, unfocused. I could smell the alcohol on him from across the room. He sat up slowly, looking at me like he was struggling to make sense of the situation.

"Athina?" His voice was slurred, rough. "What... what are you doing here?"

I couldn't breathe. My chest tightened, and I felt the sting of tears burning behind my eyes. "What am I doing here? Max, what is this?" I motioned to the woman beside him, who was still fast asleep.

He blinked again, clearly disoriented, as if he didn't understand the gravity of what was happening. "It's nothing," he muttered, rubbing his face with his hands.