The Crown's Ballad

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I never wanted anything. I only wished for a peaceful life with the ones I loved. But for people who have been given the responsibility and power to lead their subjects, such peace was too hard to achieve.

"Mother, will I become like you someday?" I asked my mother, who was embroidering together with me at the palace's salon.

My mother simply let out a small laugh, her eyes still on the fabric. She was my role model. As her daughter, she was perfect. She was my everything—the one who gave me life and pampered me with love.

"Need not to be, little rose," she said. Her purple eyes darted onto mine. It gleamed that it reminded me of a garden of lavenders blooming in spring.

"To become like me is the same as telling yourself to act like me and forever stay on those qualities." Her hand reached out to caress my cheek, her thumb rubbing on it. It felt warm.

"I know you will be someone even greater than your mother," she added.

Her smile was the only thing etched on my mind—a single memory of the woman I deeply cherished that remained. She passed from an incurable illness that only resurfaced with a cure a few years later.

I had a good relationship with my father. However, the death of my mother—his beloved wife, caused a rift between us. It was mostly by power and factions as I was not yet officially named as the crown princess, for I still have competitors with other direct royal bloodlines.

"Father, tell me you have not gone insane and that you did not follow Uncle's suggestion."

"Yani, I—"

I cut him off.

"You must not! That would only give them more power to pressure the throne!" I huffed. Uncle's suggestion would turn the whole power scale upside down. My father would then fall onto their palms and he won't be able to recover even on his deathbed.

"Father... you," I sighed in frustration. My father has been long gone. He went with my mother's soul and who I am talking to now is just...

An empty vessel of a ruler.

I walked out of his study in frustration and that was the last time I have seen him. I cooped up in my own business and wrote letters to a friend who was away from the empire. A friend who share similarities with me yet we are also alike at the same time.

"Here, send this to her. Pray tell that no shall take yet a glance on the contents of my letter." My grip on the envelope was still tight as I handed it over to one of my knights. I only loosened it for him to receive after he nodded and gave me a salute before he exited my study.

For everything to fall down, it only took three days. The bell had rung and everyone knew what it meant. I was too far from where his chambers were to stop it from happening.

My father joined my mother too soon.

"The emperor has fallen!"

That was the last straw of my walls crumbling down. I am now left alone with power hungry reptiles slithering under a human's skin. I stood there, in his chambers, with his cold body lying on the bed as if he was sleeping peacefully.

I didn't think that the last conversation we had was... an argument.

If I chose to hear him out that day, would this not happen?

"We greet the sovereign, the shining moon of the empire, Leilani Siegraine Desrosier! Long live the Empress!"

The people inside the palace did not sit still and proceeded with the coronation that I should've gotten with my father still breathing. The title was already heavy enough that the burden he carried was pushed to me suddenly.

I was crowned, yet I feel powerless.

"Empress, you must secure your position from the other direct bloodlines through marriage and an heir. In this way, they won't be able to strike you in such manner. Please reconsider, Your Majesty. You are almost past beyond your age to marry. You cannot remain single forever."

I was naive, too naive even to hope that these people were actually helping me maintain balance of the power from this vast lands. My actions felt like it was not my own but someone pushing me to do their biddings. For the empire, they say.

But to hear them say that was so sickening that I could feel throwing my soul up and just be dead.

"The Grand Duke's gathering the nobles and we are awaiting response from the messenger of Langenberg to seal the approval of reinforcements. This should succeed."

I have managed everything I can only for them to ruin it and manipulate my reputation to the grounds. My blood boiled and I only felt rage to the point of killing everyone in the court the moment I see them present. To overhear such treachery was beyond my expectations.

I have lost my mind back then. It led me to this point of... kneeling on the cold floor.

And my eyes met that person's gaze.

"Leilani Siegraine Desrosier, a pity that we meet each other this way."

I broke into a laugh that it almost made me tear. A pity, indeed. I'd rather die nonetheless than be a prisoner of my own land.

"An invasion? Or rebellion perhaps? I am confused as to which category does your involvement belong, Your Majesty," I said with contempt. I was already speaking freely because why would I not? I would die anyways.

I can feel the cold tip of the sword pushing to the skin of my throat.

"Do you have any last words?" the person in cold armor asked. I could only see the color of their eyes. It was a color of emeralds. Although, it was not shining but dull.

I only smirked, taunting them. I didn't want to back down either so I grabbed the edges of the sword as tight as I can even if my blood would come trickling down to the tip.

"I hope one day, you will fall and I will be the one catching you with a sword plunged to your chest."

I did not fear death at that moment. What I feared was...

Living.