adoxography

relevé

Four weeks with no contact, it almost feels like it was just a very vivid dream. I go to school and look out for the boys, trying to stop by the dance halls but never getting time. It's the middle of the night. Tawny and Jo went to bed a few hours ago, so I sit in my kitchen nibbling on vegemite toast and pacing the space. Tawny goes home tomorrow so I reserved myself in my room letting Jo enjoy her time with her girlfriend. The strong smell of caffeine wafts around the room as I sip on my too hot coffee. It's windy tonight, and my ears listen to mother nature's song.

I find myself abandoning my plate of half-eaten toast, and my mug of extra strong coffee and sliding open the glass back door, slipping out into the night. Mossy follows me, joyously running around my legs, the nights are getting warmer every day as we near summer. We have an enormous undercover area, and the concrete is cold on my bare feet. Before I meet the grass that prickles softly at my skin. The happy, ditzy beagle follows me dancing around.

I'm wearing bike shorts and Draco's hoodie, my shins hurt from pedaling on my bike around Uraidla earlier today, boredom eating me alive. I turn my papers in quickly, I adore LIT and French. But It's so easy to me, there is never a challenge. Without considering my actions I flex my foot, rising to a crisp relevé. I fall back down my balance weak; I feel offended at my own foot. I've done this a thousand times. So again, I rise with poise and grace. This time I don't fall. I stand on the balls of my feet, with strength and unwavering balance.

Naturally my arms raise, and I circle around my feet pattering gentle in a circle, my arms are above my head, and I flap my arms like a pretty bird. Round and round. Just gently, just simply. Just getting used to the sensation of dance again. My left foot stays on the ball of my foot, I extend my right foot till it touches the back of my head, it's perfectly straight I lean my head back and with both hands hold my right leg. The feeling of bliss that rushes over me is unfathomable and I swing my leg around in a circle spinning in precise turns. And I leap, and I prance like a deer, or like the highly trained ballerina I really am. And by the time the sun rises. I've forgotten what me had worrying and biting my lip in the first place.

,,,

Cargo pants drift around my sore ancles, dance wearing them out after years out of practice and foolish routines with no warmups, no cool downs and no dance shoes. It's late November, over a month and a half since I last saw Draco. I've mostly forgotten about it, accepted it was more of a tired dream than a movie scene.

It's far later than I would usually choose to go home, completely dark, and mostly bare carpark. One of my professors asked me to help one of his students who were making a short film. I stayed until they didn't need me anymore. Doing lighting, and sound and cinematography. I was good at it, and I enjoyed it. In awe watching the directors.

I try and hurry out. Knowing I was out here alone, and that it was dangerous at night. I had a particularly bad feeling about right now, my heart beating faster. But I tell myself it's just my anxiety and I shouldn't worry. I hear the light tapping of footsteps behind me, and I see the shadow of a figure, speeding my walk I almost sprint to my car. But I'm thrown to the ground with a harsh thud that hurts most of my body, and a hand around my mouth to muffle my screams.

I can tell it's a man, by the rough hands and sheer force. I try to kick and fight, but my anxiety freezes me in place and gives the man with the liquor scented breath and ugly words full access. His hands roam my body. Reaching for what's hiding under my bra and hitting my head down on the carpark ground if I squirm too much. The fourth time I try and move he flips me over and stares into my eyes. He looks old and dirty, with dark eyes and a snarling mouth. I see my own terrified, messy reflection in a silver, metal blade he pulls out. While he mutters something about not wanting to use it, but that he will if I keep moving.

I know tears are slowly rolling out my eyes, but I'm not sobbing. I know my keys are in my handbag which is on the path near me, but not close enough. He gets rougher and closer to getting what he wants when I hear yelling from behind him. Screaming. It frightens my attacker, and he jumps away. Preparing to run. It isn't just one person either, it's a group of them. One, the tallest and fittest (though they are all extremely fit) runs after him, dropping his navy duffle bag and running faster than I thought was possible. He lunges on the man, and I can see he's been cut by the knife on his hand. My attacker escapes. Leaving the tall, fit chaser to slump in defeat, holding his sliced palm towards himself. 

Two girls run up to me, as the first girl reaches me, she gently helps me sit up and adjust me clothes, so I'm covered. She instantly wraps her own jacket around my shoulders. One of the boys runs over to come help, and I see some professors walking out of the building. I realize the group of my saviors are the dancers, it explains the late night too. They're all beautiful and some are still wearing tights. I see none other than Silas kneeling, being the first boy to come over to help. His eyes widen when he sees me. "Beach ballet girl?" he asks and I'm too out of breath to reply so I give a sharp nod.

"She's real? I thought you were making her up. You're saying she beat Draco dancing? After not dancing for six years fuck dude." One of the girls says before leaning down to me. "I'm Sally, and you must be fucking incredible". I give a weak smile, and she just runs her hands through my hair.

It's cold and my ribs hurt from the impact on the ground. The rest of the group gather around. A professor I recognize from my freshman year when he taught a workshop in battle seen choreography (I gather he was the surrounding dancer's choreographer) kneels before me. Pushing through the gathering crown of ballerinas and hip-hop dancers. "Miss Moreau, an old student. Come now dear, I'll take you to the station so you can file a report, unless you'd prefer the hospital first?". His voice is smooth and calming but I still move backwards in fear and worry. Shaking my head and mumbling about not wanting to go. 

"I'm going to have to call in the cavalry". I hear Silas say before he stands up. "Draco, it's the beach ballerina, think you can calm her down again". My head shoots up as I see Draco standing a small distance away now blaring worried, protective eyes straight at me. His hand freshly wrapped in bandages I recognize to be the same ones I used to use for my feet when en pointe. I realize he was the one who chased after my attacker, his muscles flexing as he sprinted. Before being injured himself, for me. Although he didn't know it was me. He was going to do it for anyone. He steps away from his duffle and walks towards me with long strides. 

He drops to his knees, our eyes connecting with a fury that silently makes everyone watch on in awe and curiosity. "Hey love". He says quietly, sending butterflies through my stomach. 

I quirk just the corner of my lips up as I reply, my voice course and shaky. "Hey dipshit". He smiles widely. Relief washing over his face. "You going to kiss me again?" I ask light heartedly but with a broken expression plastered across my face. His smile turns into a serious look. 

"I think you've had enough of that for tonight huh?" He says brushing my hair out my face, something about the way he says it makes it set in and my eyes burn. I try and hold the tears in, but they flow. And I somehow end up entangled in Draco's arms for a second time while he whispers to me and takes me home. 

Silas following with all our things. He picks me up like a child. My arms around his neck, my legs around his waist. Carrying me into his car while I cry quietly. He doesn't peel my face away from his chest once. Even when we lie down, in his bed. I'm secretly glad. I don't have to deal with him seeing my mascara smudged face yet. I can feel his eyes on me though, burning onto my sore next which I'm sure is blazing red. 

I fall asleep swiftly, my tears lulling me to sleep. Yet I wake sooner, with a fright that shakes me awake trembling.