Reflections on 9/11

I always say this- at least I have since THAT day- that I remember it like it was yesterday. Like all along the Eastern seaboard and in Lower Manhattan, the weather was clear and beautiful. It was a typical, ordinary day for me teaching at the high school where I had worked for 15 years. My planning period was 1st, so I sat at the desktop computer in my classroom where technology was still rudimentary. I remember the faculty got an email from our cafeteria manager saying, "A plane had hit the World Trade Center." (I know he later got in trouble with the principal for sending out that 'All' email to the faculty). I remember I didn't think much of it at first and didn't have the technology available to go on a website to look at news sites. About 15-20 minutes, I was passed quietly while preparing for my teaching day. Then the bell rang, and kids began to stream in; a seven-minute hall passing time began. Kids began rushing into my room, calling, "Miss Holcombe, Miss Holcombe!! Did you hear?!? We're under attack!!"
What? What are they talking about? "Sheesh! These kids!!" I thought. Making a big deal out of something I was sure was not that bad. Then they said, "No, you have to come! Come next door to Mr. Bishop's room! He had the TV on. (We did have cable). So I went, and what I saw horrified me. Tom (Mr.Bishop) just looked at me and said, "they just hit the Pentagon and both Towers of the World Trade Center before that." What I was now seeing on the TV was workers running for their lives from the White House.  We now know that the alert was because the same group of terrorists had hijacked Flight 93 and was barreling toward D.C. Then a split screen on the TV showed the fire and flames from the Pentagon and another one showing fire and flames coming out of both towers. I knew then without a shadow of a doubt that America was under attack by then-unknown terrorists. I remember sheer disbelief and panic inside me, knowing I had to keep an even keel in front of the kids. That was one of the hardest things I've ever done- trying to convince my students everything would be okay when I didn't even know if it would be. I had to keep my composure and be a reassuring presence for my kids. I was terrified but didn't want them scared. Why was I afraid? All this horror was taking place far away from where we were. But we didn't know! There were rumors about attacks possible in Chicago AND in Atlanta. We simply didn't know. The terror just went on and on throughout the day, with both towers collapsing on live TV (the sheer magnitude of the numbers of people who must be dead hit me hard), word that Flight 93 had crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, and uncertainty on whether Air Force One carrying the President had been or would be attacked. Uncertainty. That stayed with me a long time, even in my mind when I had to go back to school the next day and basically lie to my kids that everything would be fine and that good would conquer evil. That's a big part of the teaching job- weighing your words carefully while remaining calm and providing solace to youngsters looking for you to be a safe harbor. I remember climbing into bed that night exhausted and spent, thanking God that my family and I were safe, praying for the victims and their families, but at the same time thinking that things in America will never be the same, and I would just keep that to myself. A lot has changed in the years since that horrific day, but one thing has remained clear to me. America is strong and resilient. We will prevail as a country no matter what!! Of that, I am sure!