As long as you like

17

As Dean lay over me on the couch, still inside me, I lay on my back, combing my fingers through his hair. Letting him take his deep, slow breathes as I try to ease the bit of tension still radiating off of him. His face is buried in my neck and I can smell him. The sweet smell of his cologne mixed with sweat from reminding me whose I am. Remembering the event of the evening; Minnie's faux beau and the intensity from Dean, the way he scared me before he took me. It was all swirling in my head.

Dean lifted his head. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

I kissed his forehead to try to hide my hesitation. "I feel fine." I blinked. "How did you know he was about to touch me if you were bringing the car around?" I asked bravely.

Dean lifted his head. "You feel safe with me, don't you?"

I blinked again. "What's that have to do-"

"Just answer the question." Dean huffed. I nodded. "Words." He demanded.

I swallowed hard. Given the fact that I've always had to defend myself, look out for myself, protect myself; I haven't really ever had to put my trust in someone else. Not enough to consider feeling "safe" with them. But with Dean...

"Yes. I do. I feel safe with you." I answered. Dean grinned very cockily.

"So in you feeling safe with me, you were oblivious to that sack of shit staring at you. He was winking at you when Minnie wasn't looking. Thankfully neither were you. Cause then you'd see his eyes watching your chest the whole meal." His voice got deep again. "Some men think they can have any woman they want. Think that being a self important prick gets you pussy." He chuckled. "When I pulled the car up and looked through the glass door of the restaurant, I saw his hand move toward you. Almost like it was in slow motion. I put it in park and jumped out. He wasn't going to touch you. You're mine." He kissed my neck.

My whole body tingled at hearing this from him. I had always secretly fantasized about having a good man. One who would protect me. Someone who would take care of me. Instead of me taking care of everyone around me. That's one of the reasons I think my friendship with Minnie is so important. We take care of each other. It's equal.

Dean is possessive. I liked it. He gave me a sense of security that I've never felt before. Laying here with him, being his and knowing it, it's the best feeling I've had in a long time. It feels strange though. Like something seems too good to be true, but it isn't exactly Dean. His actions, maybe. His behavior, definitely.

He lifted himself to hover over me. The expression of fear must have been lingering on my face. Dean kissed my forehead. "I never meant to frighten you. I just want to keep you safe. You're too important to lose."

I touched his face. Warm. His eyes peering into mine felt like threading a needle on the first try. It was a rewarding feeling to me. He kissed my palm and sat upright. Digging his vibrating phone out of his discarded jeans. I didn't even notice it buzzing until he had the phone in his hand.

Inspecting the name on the screen, Dean furrowed his brow. He silenced the call and put his phone on the coffee table.

"No one and nothing is important to me right now."  He kissed me but drew away when he heard his phone vibrate again. He sighed and answered the phone. "Hello? Yes, this is he. What? How? I'm so sorry? When is it? Yeah, I'll be there." His face was grim. Not angry or jealous, but sad.

He looked at me. He sighed again. Something on his face told me he had something to get off oh his chest. I couldn't tell if it had everything to do with the phone call he just got. Or if the phone call was just a part of it. Either way, I was nervous now.

Some small part of me feared it had something to do with the girl he told me about before. The one who broke his heart. The one I was scared he would drop me for in an instant if she asked him to.

"Who was that?" I managed to say after a long silence and my voice gave away my nerves as it cracked.

Dean sighed again. I could hear the heaviness weighing in his chest on his exhale. "I-I need a minute. Excuse me." He stood, pulled on his pants and left the room.

I sat for a moment, confused and nervous. The shadows being cast on the walls by the sunset peering in from the windows made everything feel more unsettling. I decided to pull my clothes back on. It felt inappropriate to be naked anymore.

Thoughts swarmed my head a million at a time. Was I right? Was Dean too good to be true? I wondered if I should leave. I wondered if he wanted me to leave. I waited a while longer, sitting in silence. I stayed quiet myself, so I could try to hear the creaks in the floor if he moved. I heard a few creaks in a row and a loud thud followed by a crash that made me jolt.

I stood and followed the noise I just heard. Climbing up the steps with uncertainty. I took a breath at the top. I slowly made my way down the hall to Deans bedroom.

"Dean?" I said barely louder than a whisper, standing beside the doorframe, too unsure to even look in. But I knew he was in there. I heard him take a few deep, shaky breaths. Taking a steadying breath myself, I stood in the doorway.

As I was sure I would, I found Dean. Sitting on the foot of his bed, head hanging down between his hunched shoulders, facing the small hearth in his room. The hearths glass shutters were shattered by a metal poker, giving away the mystery of the sound that scared me. He slowly raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, tears trailing down his cheeks. My heart sank.

He extended his arm to me, fingertips calling for me to come near him. I stood in front of him, he placed his hand on my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair and settled my hand on the back of his neck.

He locked eyes with me and solemnly said, "There's something's I have to tell you. About myself. The way I used to live. What I used to be."