Whispers of love and lies

IDRIS

It had been more than 24 hours. Twenty-four fucking hours since I last saw her. I kept away from the dining table tonight, resisting the pull to sit across from her like I had every night for the past two weeks. But that decision was gnawing at me, digging under my skin like a splinter I couldn't dig out.

I thought keeping my distance would help. That maybe, if I ignored her presence, I'd be able to think clearly again. But no-now her absence was haunting me, clawing at my mind with more intensity than she ever did when she was right in front of me. It was as if the very air had shifted, carrying her scent, her lingering heat, the memory of her soft breaths when I got too close.

I paced my office, the dim lights casting long shadows over the walls. I tried to drown myself in work, bury myself in reports and updates, but my mind kept drifting back to her. The way her eyes flashed with defiance and fear, the way her body had felt pressed against mine.

It was maddening. I should have been focused on anything but her-on my revenge, on the war brewing in the streets, on the damned empire I've built. Yet here I was, my thoughts poisoned by the curve of her lips, the way her breath hitched when I leaned in too close. I clenched my fists, frustration boiling in my veins.

How had she gotten under my skin like this? How did she manage to make me feel so out of control, so fucking raw?

I ran a hand through my hair, my frustration mounting with every passing second. This was insane. I wasn't the kind of man who second-guessed himself, who got distracted by a woman-especially not one who was supposed to be under my protection, a mere obligation, a means to an end.

But there was something about her. Something that kept pulling me back into this restless, dangerous orbit. I shouldn't be thinking about her at all, let alone debating whether I should go see her, even if just for a moment. What the hell was wrong with me?

I gripped the edge of my desk, my knuckles whitening. "Focus, Idris," I muttered to myself. There were more important things at hand. My enemies were circling, alliances were shifting, and my best friend's murder still needed avenging. I should be planning my next move, not getting lost in thoughts of her-of Esmery.

But the more I tried to push her out of my mind, the more her image crept back in. The way her breath quickened when I got too close, her scent lingering in the air long after I'd left her side. It was like a fucking itch I couldn't scratch.

What if I went to her room? Just for a moment. Just to see her, to reassure myself that this pull I felt was nothing more than a fleeting distraction. A mere curiosity. Would she be sleeping? Or would she be tossing and turning, like I was?

I shook my head, my jaw clenching. No. That was a bad idea-a reckless, stupid idea. She was already too much of a temptation. She was Alston Lancaster's niece, after all. I was supposed to protect her, not indulge in whatever twisted fantasies my mind was conjuring up.

But damn it, I could feel my feet moving, my body betraying me like my mind already had.

I paused, my hand hovering over the doorknob. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to let this girl-this woman-make me break my own rules?

For a moment, I let myself imagine it-her lying there, peaceful, her dark hair splayed across the pillow. Would she look as tempting in sleep as she did when awake? Would I feel this same dangerous urge to reach out, to touch, to claim?

I took a deep breath, the war waging in my mind louder than ever. I needed to decide-now. Step away or step closer. Keep the distance or shatter it completely.

And for the first time in a long, long while, I wasn't sure which path I'd take.

I made my decision in a heartbeat. My feet moved on their own accord, leading me down the dark hallway towards her room. The tension in my chest only grew heavier with each step. This was dangerous-reckless even-but I had to see her, to remind myself of the line I shouldn't cross. I needed to prove to myself that I could look at her and walk away.