I'll fix him - Toji Zenin X Reader [Toji Fushiguro]

002 lies into the fire

"I thought you wanted to quit?"
Toji closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was annoyed, even a bit desperate. They both talked about this topic so often, Toji promise him all the time to finally quit this nonesense job. But Tojis words were only filled with lies, he always said to himself that he needs this job and that he couldn't live on without it.

"Not you again..." Toji said to Satoru, and he wiped away the disgusting blood he had on his cheek.
He turned himself towards Satoru.
"Yeah, not again you huh?" Satoru said and he just shook his head in disappointment.

Tojis gaze went to the ground, he was looking to the two bodies that he killed a few minutes ago.
A few centimetres away from his feet layed two dead women. He looked at his right hand where he had his bloody knife. He held his knife in the air in front of his face.

Satoru couldn't recognise the emotions he can see on Tojis face right now. Toji looks unreadable, like this man doesn't even feel any emotions.

"I can't stop this shit, I need the money." He just said and he wiped the knife on his sleeve to clean his knife from the blood.
"You always pretend like there doesn't exist any other job on this fuckin planet.

"Tell me Satoru, why should I change careers when I already have a well paid job?" Toji asked and he looked away from Satoru again. He needs to get rid of the dead bodies, his client wanted them to get burned.
"If I was a jujutsu sorcerer like you I would also have a big annoying mouth."

"You know, I really like you. I enjoyed being friends with you a lot, but I can't keep in touch with you if you're living like this. I need to keep my sister save from a monster like you." Satoru said with a sad voice.

"Why should I care about your little sister? I don't care what she thinks about me ore anyone else. I don't give a shit." It doesnt made any sense in Tojis head. Why Satoru always had to mention his sister.

"I know that you love her." Satoru said and he went after him.
It was past midnight, a cold freezing spring night.
Satoru kept talking, but toji seemed like he wasn't listening anymore. They both walked into the forest nearby, Satoru only a few feet behind him.

Toji threw the bodies on the ground and he added some leaves and sticks on top of them. Satoru was just watching silently.
Toji lit up his lighter and threw it on the bodies.
They started to burn immediately and the flames heated the atmosphere a bit up between the two men in this freezing night.

Both were just watching the flames in silent. Toji was groaning,  he was so annoyed because of the other man who was standing besides him. Satoru should learn to mind his own business.

They knew each other for a bit longer, they were good friends. But after a while Satoru started worrying about his sister because she wanted to see his friend more often. His sister was only one year younger than him, but he still has the needs to protect her like a  breakable statue that will break and start falling apart after just one small wrong move.

"I don't even know how you got the idea that I love your sister. This shit gets even more ridiculous." Toji said to stop the silence between the two.
"I don't even know her properly, I just met her like a month ago. She doesn't know anything about me and I doesn't know a thing about her. This doesn't make any sense. You're stupid as fuck."

Satoru sighed. "I love my sister, I don't want her to get in trouble and I want to protect her till I can't anymore. But you probably can't even relate because you don't know how human beings can love each other in a platonic way." Satoru stopped and took a quick break.

Toji was so confused, he started laughing. Satoru wanted to beat him straight in the face so bad.

"I still don't get it what your sister has in common with me. I don't get your fuckin problem there, your getting on my nerves. Just go the fuck away and never come back, I don't care for you or your sister."

"But she would care god damnit. She wants to get to know you better and I'm fuckin afraid Toji,"
He clenched his fists and he had to control himself, he doesnt want to kill his friend.

While the two argued, the fire became smaller and smaller. Slowly losing its beauty and its strength.
It doesn't take long anymore until the fire dies forever, just like the friendship between the two men.

"You told me that you would think about it, that you would look for another job where you don't have to kill innocent people and make yourself more enemys. You even told me that you are happy to hear that my sister wants to meet you again, that she wants to know more about the Toji Zenin and that she wants to get to know him better. But I was probably wrong again for thinking you really loved her. How could a guy like you love a beautiful woman like her, the only thing you can do is to think with your fucking dick and how to-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Satoru wasn't able to see anything as he felt a sharp pain through his face. He was moaning because of pain and fell to the ground.

"this is enough! I don't want to hear anything of this bullshit. It's enough, you're so annoying I don't give a shit about that woman and you. Yes I told you I would think about it and guess what? I did. I'll keep this job and live my life as happy as before." Toji took a quick break and took a deep breath.

"All the years, my job wasn't important and you went just fine with it. But now you are crying about it like the little bitch you are? You ridiculous piece of shit."
The fire was fully gone now. The beautiful flames died, the only remainings was the ashes and a few last sparks.

"Just fuck yourself and move on."
Toji said before he lest Satoru on his own.
Satoru didn't said a thing, he doesn't wanted to look up. He just stayed silent and looked into his hands.

"Fuck you, Zenin."

Toji opened his eyes quickly. He hold his face into his hands and groaned. The dream he had right now was what happened between them a few days ago.
Satoru was a mystery for him, why he acted like this only because of his sister. And tonight he saw Satoru and he acted like nothing happened. This guy is so weird.

He doesn't care about Satorus sister, he would be happy to never see her again or even to never hear her name again.

But Toji isn't saying the truth, not to his friend and even not to himself. He was hiding and suppressing his feelings and the feelings from the other people around him.
He was already used to it, lying to himself that he doesn't even realized that he is killing himself with these lies. That he is killing this beautiful fire that could warm his soul and his heart.

Little did he know that the truth is that he fell in love with her beautiful glowing eyes since the first time he saw her.