A Prayer to Castiel

Cas, where are you. Sam's getting worse, and I don't know what to do. We found out the next trial. He has to go to hell and save an innocent soul. The last time we were in hell you had to drag the both of us out. What if he can't do it. What if he's not strong enough. Cas, I wont let Sammy die. I can't. If it comes down to it, if one of us have to die. Let it be me. Take my life and give it to Sammy. Please Cas. Sammy is the only one who has a chance at a normal life, he's the only one who would be able to to break away from all of this. Hunting, everything. Don't let my brother die, Cas. I could't live with the guilt of him dying. Not again Cas.

Cas set's his hand on Dean's shoulder. 'Dean, I can't. I can't let you die. This is what Sam wants. You never had a chance at a real life. When you did you were happy. I watched-'

Dean hits Cas, 'You have to save him! You have to do it, Cas! I've lost everyone I've ever cared about, I'm finished, I'm done!"

"No Dean. We arn't positive that Sam will die, he might make it. You have to have hope."

Dean's scilent, figuring out what he would do if Sam wasn't going to make it. He'd sell his soul to Crowley, before they close the gates of hell he'd strike a deal with Crowley. Sam can't know, it's for his own good.

"Cas, once this all over, I need you to tell Sammy that everything I have ever done was for him and his safety. Tell him that- that Mom and Dad always loved him. He was Dad's favorite, all Dad wanted was to keep him safe. They were so alike. Tell him that Bobby always loved us. He was our father in so many ways. Tell him to keep safe, to be strong like I know he is. Tell him that I- that I love him. I always have." Dean paused for a moment, holding back tears, "And tell him that if he trys to bring me back or get's one scratch on my baby I will haunt his ass."

Cas is now sitting next to Dean on his bed, staring into his sea green eyes. With an understanding look he trys to hug him. For the first time, Dean allows Cas give him a comforting hug. He feels Cas crying, angels don't cry. They can't. He let's Cas feel this emotion. Cas lost so much, with being through purgatory and losing so many of his brothers.

"Dean-" Cas begins to speak quietly, afraid that his voice will give out, "I don't understand many of your jokes, or much on how humans work and do things. But, I fell from heaven for you, drug you out of hell to be with you. Am willing to die for you, and will always protect you from everything. Even from yourself, and you're going to hate me for that. I'd rather have you alive and hate me, than dead, Dean. When I comes down to it. I won't let you die. Sam will agree with me on this. You are more important than you believe. I wish you could see what I see. You've given me strength to fight destiny. You made an angel care, rebel against orders. You made me feel. Many of these feelings I've come like and dislike. Like burgers. burgers are good. But, to many burgers are bad. I don't understand why, though. Just like Alcohol make's me feel weird and to much makes me throw up. And you, ever since I raised you from hell you've made me feel guilty for blindly following orders, like doing the right thing no matter the cause. You make me feel- feel what I believe it is what they call, Love. Love for my new family, for you and Sam. Dean, I love you and I can't just let you give up. I can't let you do this to yourself. Whatever you're planning on doing, I'm going to stop you. I'm going to save you Dean, because you're worth saving. I'm trying everything I can to keep Sam alive, I'll die for him if I have to, and you are not going to. You are salvageable, Sam might not be." Cas is now staring into Deans eyes, trying to make sure his words gets through to him. "I'm not going to let you die. If it comes down to it, I will fight against you to save you. I need you too, Dean. You mean to much for me to let you give up."

Cas embrases Dean again, this time Dean was the one fighting back tears. Cas' words contradict everything he has thought about himself. He has known how much they ment to each other, but it has never been spoken out loud. He kisses Cas's neck and Cas kisses his. Dean pulls away to look into his eyes and strokes his cheek.

and like that Cas was gone. Not letting Dean say a word. He isn't good at expresses his feelings, the closest he will come to telling someone he loves them, whom is not his family, is I need you. Just like Bobby.