Curveball Confessions: A Girl's Softball Journey

Chapter 1

"I don't understand why we do this every year. Do you Lizzie?" Caroline, the second base girl who's a Junior English major asks me. I move to stand next to her along the first base line. We are the first of the team to arrive to watch the possible walk-ons during tryouts and we actually have five open spots since we just had four graduate and one transfer to a different University. "Well," I start as I step closer to lean over the fence. "Coach Marc's couldn't hold a recruit for this season and when you are the joke of the New York Division 1 programs, I can understand the tryouts... at least this year." I defend on Coach Marc's behalf.

It is true but to our University's defense, we are very well known for academics since we are Ivy League. Specifically we are known for engineering, law, business, biology and arts. So I get that it's hard being a student-athlete at our University, especially when you chose one of those majors. So a lot of the girls really play the "student" part more than "athlete" part. I get it, being a chemical engineering major myself, it's hard but I love softball and I really try to give it all I can for the team.

It also doesn't help that the old Head Coach, the one that recruited me for my freshman year last year, was stealing money for the program...

"And Rick took all of our fundraising money and no one wants to be our team's sponsor." Olivia, our Senior left fielder says as she walks over to us with some of the other girls. I stand up and turn around to face everyone as I lean against the chain fence. "Did they start yet?" Olivia asks walking over to me to stand next to me on the fence. She intentionally stands so close that her elbow rests right on mine. I let out a sigh before turning around and leaning on the fence again, taking a side step away.

Olivia and I had a little fling this past summer since we both had to stay on campus instead of going home. However, that did not last. She was just using me to stay she had a "girlfriend" but she was not ready to commit to an actual girl-on-girl relationship. And I don't mean sex. I mean the basics... holding hands, kissing, sitting on each other's laps casually, flirting. All she wanted to do was be physically close to a girl like she's doing now. And, since I am the only girl on the team that's openly gay, there are not many options to pick from if you want to date a teammate. So, her getting close to me after I set up the "we are only teammates" boundary is not cool.

"No they didn't. Coach Marc isn't even here yet. Corrie and Victoria are leading stretches." I state as I throw my sunglasses on. "Weird that the assistants are here but not the head." Caroline remarks, snickering almost. I feel a larger presence behind me and when I turn, I see our whole team. All 20 of us. "Why are we all here?" I ask the team. "Coach Marc asked us all to come at least in the beginning." Heather, the  Sophomore secondary left fielder, says as she crosses her arms across her chest. She is not a fan of Coach Marc's coaching philosophy. He hasn't even made his coaching style known since he was just an assistant last year. I think.

I turn back again and look at each one of the girls on the field. They all look nervous. They are jumping around. Shaking their hands. Taking deep breaths. Except for one girl. With her radiant tan skin, cascading vary brown hair and strikingly bright blue eyes, she has this vibrance about her that just draws attention to her. She has a smile that can be breath taking. Something about her is familiar but I can't quite put my finger on it. I watch as she takes a bat from the lineup and takes a few practice swings.

I am broken from my trans just as I put two-and-two together on her by Coach Marc. "Girls, welcome to tryouts. You all made it and I am happy to see that." I turn around and walk over to the bleachers where the team is sitting. When I walk past Coach Marc, he pats my shoulder because I think he knows what I just figured out. I sit down next to Caroline just as he starts to talk.

"So, as we all know, the recruiting was a shit-show." He couldn't even continue as all the girls gasp at one. Marc has always been quiet, never cursed, always seemed a bit uptight... until now. There are groups of whispering which are quickly interrupted by him clearing his throat. "No one wants to come here after Rick bashed the reputation of this program. I will not let that happen again. It will be better. We as coaches, Coach Victoria, Coach Corrie, and I will give everything we can to helping the team succeed. On the field. Off the field. And that starts today. Vic!" He stops to yell to the field. He waves his hand and a moment later, Victoria looks over at the blue-eyed girl who smiles with her teeth and runs towards us.