Pen and Paper

6

6

            I sat at the white sands and I felt at ease. This place has unleashed both unpleasant and pleasant memories for me, and the flooding back of feelings hasn’t been that good for me. I was supposed to inspire myself to be able to write a good story, but here I am, bringing to surface the feelings I have buried deep for a long time. I don’t know why this had to be the time that I have to remember. Nor could I understand my decision for going here to Boracay to be inspired. I know deep within me that I came here not to be inspired but to remember.

            I sighed wearily.  Maybe I should go and walk to refresh my writer’s instincts. But as I started to walk absently, I realized that I am trotting to the hut. It’s too late to walk back now. So I walked in. I saw the notebook at the middle of the floor where I have left it after Ateneo gave it back to me. After I found out that Tony, my secret admirer, my bestfriend, and the love of my life, has left, I cried and cried and brood over depression for a long time. Until my mom told me that Ateneo de Manila has sent me a letter, telling me that the day of the submission for entry for the scholarship is drawing near. But I didn’t panic. I held my notebook and started to write between the letters that I and Tony shared. I have transformed it to a beautiful story. But it doesn’t have an ending. I wrote in there that someday, I will be able to write down the ending. But not that day. And when I submitted the story to Ateneo, they loved it. And they even offered to publish it, but I have requested that the story be private and that the notebook be given back to me. They respected that decision I made. They gave me the scholarship, and I left the notebook at the hut so I will be able to start fresh in my college as a scholar of Ateneo.

            But now, I came back to it. I held the notebook in my hands delicately, and somehow, I felt at peace, as if I’ve just returned home. Perhaps this notebook will be my inspiration. I took a deep breath as I brought it with me out of the hut. It will save me a second time, the story that made me as I am.

            By the end of the week, I came back to Manila and met with Mr. Ramirez. He asked me if I was ready, and I nodded, my eyes glassy, and my expression soft. As the street children came running forward to meet and hug me, I hugged them all with tears in my eyes. So we went inside the nursery room and I put out my notebook. The Australian Investors came in.

            “You are Ms. De Guzman, I take it?” said one of them, holding out his hand in greeting. I shook all of their hands and greeted them pleasantly.

            “President has not come here yet. But you may start.”

            I nodded. I turned to the children and they sat up with rapt attention as I start to tell the story.  As I read, everything else vanished. It was only me and the notebook. I was possessed in the story. And I have truly remembered now, even the love I’ve hold for Tony through all these years is revived. As I end the story, I looked up, my eyes red and puffy, and I was surprised that everyone else is also crying. As I shut the notebook, the kids started sobbing. The Investors wiped their eyes.

            “So what happened Ms. Ianne? After you figured out that it was Tony all along?”

            I was silent for a long time, and everyone looked at me and waited. When I look up, there were tears again in my eyes.

            “He never even got the chance to read the last letter I wrote him. It’s still there.” I wiped my eyes. “Still in the mailbox, because I am hoping that he will come back and he will be able to read it, even if it’ll probably be too late.”

            I don’t know what I am doing here again. After our presentation with the Australian Investors, I came back to Boracay, I guess it will always be   the place of refuge for me. The Australian Investors told us that when they have finished deciding, they will just be let us know. Mr. Ramirez congratulated me and was so happy that he didn’t see that I was rather gloomy through the whole thing. So I came back To Bora.

            And the worst of it is I found myself walking again to the hut. I decided to leave the notebook there again. It’s that or I would be forever sad as I keep it. So now I’m coming back. But as I entered, I was surprised to see a figure kneeling by the floor. When he looked up, I stopped dead. My chest exploded, and the world before me has melted away. Those glowing green eyes shouldn’t be that familiar now, but it is. I felt like I have always been seeing it in my heart.

            Tony stood up, he was wearing a business suit and he looked particularly professional. But he was still the same, gentle and sweet and composed, and looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful girl on the planet. He stepped towards me, his hands held the letter that I have last written to him. He didn’t take his eyes off me, and I couldn’t look away as well.

            “Ianne.” He said, saying my name like a caress.

            “T-Tony.” I said breathlessly. “But how did you….why did you…?...”

            “I heard you.” He said. “When you said that I never got to read a last letter,  I came back here.” He reached inside his coat and pulled out an envelope. “ I thought you might want this.”

            I took it and opened it, to reveal the papers that say that the Australian investors have officially agreed to invest for the school. I looked up at him. “You are their President!” I exclaimed.

            He nodded. “I didn’t get to hear the whole of story. I only got to the part where you said that I didn’t read your last letter.” He indicated to the letter he’s holding.

He reached out to me. “Is this true?”

I stepped closer. “Everything I wrote there is true.”

“Did you mean it?”

“With all my heart.”

Tears welled in his eyes. He closed the distance between us and he hugged me tightly, as if he’d never want to let go. And we were both crying. And when we let go, I looked up to his beautiful eyes, never wanting to look away.

                        “I love you.” He told me breathlessly.

                        I smiled. I have waited for this moment for so long. I have waited to be able to say the words that kept us apart for the longest time. And now I will finally be able to tell him. And he will be with me till forever comes to an end.

                        “I love you too.”