I remember I used to date this girl named Caleah Grant who now lives at Stone Harbor Cemetery. Her eyes were as green as the forest and skin so beautiful. I felt like I was a bad influence on her. A goodie two shoes church girl with a guy who smokes and does coke to feel something. I remember when I first met her. Those innocent eyes were looking at me while her daddy was preaching the word of God. And just like the rest of them people in there, I was sinning. Life was fucked up to begin with. I was on drugs real bad and life was getting hard. I came in there stoned out my mind and smelling like cigarettes. She gave me a little wave from time to time. She kept staring at me while she was sitting beside her momma on the stage. After church she made her way over to me to talk to me. She smelled like warm vanilla and cinnamon. I was drooling in my mouth by how she smelt so good.
I asked her for her name. Every time she'd tried to tell me if someone was calling her and she ran off. This went on for about two Sundays until I met her in a bar. This is how the story goes:
I was fucked up that night. I think I got kicked out of two bars and just stumbling around.
I finally stumbled my way to the bar and sat beside a girl. A looked over and there she was, the church girl.
"Hey," I said.
She turned around and gave me a sweet smile. God I'm in love with her.
"Hey," she says back. "You're from my church right?"
I nodded and gave her a drunk smile. She smiled as well and God it was pretty. She had dimples that complemented her.
"Yes," I said and took swig of my beer.
"My daddy does talk a lot," she says.
"Hey he's doing Gods work," I said. "Nothing wrong with that."
"You're right," she says. "He's been preaching since I was born."
"So you've been raised in a church."
"Yeah I still live with them. It drives me insane."
"Are they like strict religious?"
"Surprisingly no. They're just...less strict because of my brother."
"Your brother?" I chuckled a little. "What'd he do?"
"A lot of shit to the point where he's dead," she said.
I didn't bother asking her about it because she looked uncomfortable when she said it.
We both sat in silence for a second.
"My names Caleah," she says. "Remember? You kept asking me what my name was and we kept getting interrupted?"
"Caleah," I repeated. "Nice name."
She started to smile when I said that.
"Thank you," she says.
We sat there for a moment and we talked a little bit. I just kept getting lost in her funny green eyes. Her words were like honey, just sweet and nice. She was pretty as an angel.
"I think it's time we head home," Caleah says and gets up from her chair.
I was too drunk to even stand but I managed.
"Let me walk you home," I offered.
She accepted my offer and we went on our way.
As we were walking I could tell she lived in one of those rich fancy houses with the great big lawn. She pointed out her house and walked up to the porch.
"Will you be here next Sunday?" She asked me.
I looked up at the sky like I was searching for an answer.
"Sure," I said.
"Great," she says and walks in the house.
I stood on the porch to think about it. It might've been a good thing that I started going to church. I stopped doing wrong. Or maybe God was just a sign that Caleah was the one.
I walked home by myself and pulled out a cigarette. I pulled out a lighter and lit my cigarette. I inhaled the smoke and exhaled the smoke. It was a cold night I know that. While I was walking home, I saw homeless people littered the streets where I lived. I pulled out a five dollar bill and gave it to a homeless man named John. John used to be my friend and I tried helping him out every way I could.
"Thank you," he says. "How you been Zach?"
"Good," I said and started scratching my arm.
John chuckled a little and realized what I was doing.
"Your on that stuff still?" He asked me. "It's hard to get off of it ain't it?"
I nodded my head as I continued scratching my arm. I tried staying off that cocaine shit but I couldn't. I couldn't help myself. I thought I could manage it to be honest.
"Hey, did you run out?" He asked me.
I nodded my head fast and he pulled out a bag of that white powder heaven that shoots up your nose. I snatched it out of his hand quickly.
"Thanks man," I said to John and walked on home to my apartment.
I couldn't stay off this shit not even for three weeks. That's how long I haven't had nothing to sniff.
I quickly pulled out my key to my apartment and walked inside. My place was nice and neat when I arrived. My table was clear so I plopped down on the couch and took out some of the coke and put it on the table.
I rummaged around on a pile and tried to find a card to line this up. I was desperate. I finally found one and started lining it up. When it was perfectly aligned I grabbed a dollar bill from pocket and started going at it. I felt it go up the nose and I laid back and just let the euphoric feeling over my body. I finally itched that itchy feeling I had over my body. I was finally satisfied.
