"I can't sleep," Caleah says waking me up.
"Come here," I said. "It's probably just the jitters."
I pulled her into a tight hug and she kept twitching. I knew why she couldn't sleep. She wanted more of that stuff. It's been a couple weeks since we did it and it's been an ongoing thing. She couldn't sleep, she was jittery a lot. She stayed at the apartment more than me and probably found my stash.
I didn't mind if she went through it.
"It's ok," I comforted her. "Calm down baby."
"Zach I can't," her voice trembled.
"Hey the more you do it the more you feel at ease. I'll go get it for you."
I got up from my bed and walked into the living room and found my secret stash. I went back into the bedroom and grabbed a board to place the coke on.
"Zach this is bad," Caleah says biting her fingers nervously. "What if I'm addicted to it?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head," I said. "Trust me, after this second one you're not going to have that feeling anymore baby."
She looked hesitant for a second. She started fidgeting with her fingers and looked down.
"You promise?" Caleah asks me.
"Scouts honor," I said.
I dumped the bag of coke on the board and did that little routine. We were going back and forth with this. This happened nearly every three days for the past couple months.
"Are you ok?" Caleah's mother asks me.
"Yeah why?" I said quickly.
"You seem...tired," she says. "What about my daughter?"
We were having dinner with Caleah's mother since her dad couldn't make it. Caleah was somewhere in the restaurant.
"She's fine..." I said as my voice trailed off.
"You know Zach," she says touching my hands. "If you need help I can help you."
I looked away and avoided eye contact with her. She slid me a pamphlet. I looked down and it read "Rehab Center". I chuckled to myself a little.
"I'm not on it," I lied.
"My son said the same thing," Loraine says. "And guess where he ends up?"
I stayed silent for a moment and thought the worse.
"Look Zach," she starts off by saying. "I think you're a real good guy for my daughter and I don't care what my daughter likes or dates as long as they treat her right. But you young man I know what you're up to. If my daughter gets on that stuff you're going to regret it. You got that?"
"Yes ma'am," I said and Caleah got back.
She some white stuff under her nose but she wiped it away quickly.
"Hey mama," she says.
"Hey honey," Loraine says and smiles.
The two started chatting while I sat there and fiddled with my arms. I thought about what Caleah's mother said. She wasn't wrong about it. She seriously wasn't. But who is she to judge? I understand she didn't want her daughter on it but I took an oath when I dated her I'd never hurt her. I wish I could go back in time to where I could stop all of this.
"Baby," I said to Caleah. "We need to talk."
"Talk," she says lying beside me.
"I think we need to lay off the shit for a while," I said.
She frowned a little and pouted.
"Why?" She asks me. "Did my momma say something?"
I nodded my head and sighed.
"It's none of her damn business," she mutters. "I can do what I want."
"But baby," I said. Your momma gave me a nice rehab pamphlet."
"If it gets bad enough Zach let's go then. I'm that bad right now."
"But baby-"
"Why the fuck are you even listening to my mother anyways?" Caleah snaps. "I'm not even addicted to that shit."
I started to say something but no words came out.
"I know you're not Caleah I just said just in case," I snapped back. "God you're acting like a fucking addict right now."
"Me acting like a fucking addict? The one who got me on this shit in the first place."
I stood silent for a moment. She was getting aggressive towards me.
"Now move so I can get my fucking bag," she says.
I put her up against the wall causing some stuff to break.
"Don't fucking talk to me like that," I said darkly.
She had fear in her eyes and looked helpless.
"You're not touching my fucking bag," she says.
"I helped you buy the bag," I said. "So it's really mines."
She started fighting me a little and spat in my face. I slapped the shit out of her accidentally and she punched me in the nose. It started to bled.
"Baby are you ok?" She asked in a concerning voice.
"You fucking bitch," I muttered as I tasted blood in my mouth.
"I'm sorry," she says and starts crying a little.
She ran to the bathroom and got me a rag. She put the rag under my nose so the blood could soak it up.
She kept apologizing over and over again. I told her to hand me my stash so I could sniff. I was in so much pain I had to take something. I didn't even bother lining it up, I just poured some in my hand and sniffed it.
I sat there for a moment and thought to myself, maybe Loraine and I was right. We probably do need to go to rehab. This shit was addicting to the both of us and we needed help badly.
