Am I Special

Chapter 1 -Man in the mirror

Stiles slips slowly out of the shower... he goes over to the mirror..wipes the steam away... he knows the busted lip...the gash on thie side of his face..the bruises are all healed....but when he looks in the mirror.. he sees them...he's ugly...no wonder no one wants him... no one wants to be around him.... He closes his eyes and like always he sees Gerard moving to hit him again... he opens his eyes quickly, he moves them quickly from the mirror and sighs.

It's been 2 weeks since he last went to a training seccion with the pack...no seems to notice he's stopped going.... it's been a week since he has talked to Scott...he's always busy with Issac and the pack since he and Allison broke up... the pack.. Alpaha Derek, Scott, Issac, Danny, Jackson, Erica, Boyd and Lydia... and Stiles, except no really saw him when he was there... he couldn't keep up...couldn't compete... he was only human, well so is Lydia...but she's not a normal human. He hadn't seen his father in two days... he's either asleep when Stiles is there..or at work... Stiles hasn't even went to the police station to see him either... his father hasn't noticed.

School is the same everyday.. go to class...get acknowledged by the pack ..but they never stop and talk to him for long... he eats lunch in his Jeep everyday alone...no seems to miss him there ..they never ask him to join them... he's now sitting in the back seat of every class..pulling away from everyone...they don't seem to notice... he quit Lacrosse... just like the training seccions..none of the pack notices he's not there..... every night he goes up into the woods and up the mountains and looks out over Beakon Hills...all the lights at all the houses... all the people ... and no one notices he's not there.

It's Friday night....school week is over... so is Stiles... he goes home... takes a shower...makes sure he doesn't look in the mirror..gets dressed.. jeans, tee, red hoodie and chucks...he grabs a bottle of whiskey out of his dad's cabinet and he's out the door.... he's drunk half the bottle...he's been crying for an hour... he's tired of crying...everyday crying and no one notices.. he's really drunk and stumbles and his his knee cutting it...blood is streaming down his leg..he doesn't care... he staggers to the edge of the cliff looking over the town.. he stares down into the darkness... he takes another step... he closes his eyes... he's taking the last step .... he hits the ground ...wind is knocked out of him.. he looks up and there is Derek.. Derek Hale... the person that stole his heart when Lydia crumpled it up and threw it away... 

"What the hell are you doing Stiles.. you could have died there.. if I hadn't smelled your blood on my run..." Derek says in a voice that's harsh and rigid.

"Oh come on sour wolf... don't get your tail in a knot." Stiles says sloppily.

Red flashes in the Alpha's eyes and he's on top of Stiles growling...claws out and teeth growing.

"Keep it up and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth.." Derek growls as he sees Stiles lean back showing him his throat.

"Go ahead.. do it... DO IT.... PLEASE." Stiles yells at him.

Derek falls of the boy... looks at him...and sees he's serious.. 'what is going on?' Derek is thinking to himself... he leans over to look at the boy.... Stiles is crying.

"Please... " Stiles is just whispering in the wind. He reaches up and grabs Derek and pushes his lips to Dereks... his arms go around Derek's neck... like he's grabbing on for dear life... his lips spark against Dereks.. they taste of tears and alcohol.... Derek pulls away in shock.. he's on his feet.

"Yeah thought so..." Is all Stiles says.... he gets up and starts down the hill... Derek is on him as he falls over passing out.

Derek picks him into his arms, resting his head into his shoulder and walks him to the jeep... places him into the passanger seat....fishes the keys out of his hoodie pocket... 'always a red hoodie' Derek thinks to himself as he rubs his fingers across his lips... starts the jeeep and takes Stiles home.... he paces back and forth for a few minutes after he places Stiles on the bed... he needs to find out what's going on...what's the matter with Stiles... he decides to go ask Scott... it's strange.. as he heads out the window.. that the only scent in the room is Stiles... no one else.

It's one in the morning...Stiles wakes up from the nightmare..the same one... he keeps being hit and kicked by Gerard.... he can't breath... his heart is pounding...as soon as he opens his eyes he can see it ... nothing... he gets up and walks to the bathroom ..turns on the light and looks in the mirror... he starts to cry.. the scars are everywhere... he's covered in blood... he's so ugly.. no one wants him... he reaches into the medice cabinet and takes out his bottle of Adderal and heads to his desk.... he takes out a piece of paper and pen and writes:

Dad,

I'm sorry ... I can't take it anymore...I know you blame me for mom's death... and don't want to even look at me... no one wants to look at me... it just hurts to much to take... i've tried... and everyday it feels like a cut accross my face..a tear in my heart.. I just ... I'm just not strong enough.

I love you...I'm sorry.... Stiles.

he opens the full bottle and starts taking handfulls of the pills... throwing them back with a bottle of water he always has on his desk... he gets up from the desk and heads over to his bed... in his head he feels weightless as he hits the bed and bounces off into the floor... so weightless and everything just slowly bleeds of color..then the gray ..goes to black.