Paparazzi - PARMIGA

Nineteen

"I've never cared for all the emo shit" Leslie mutters under her breath the next morning after the party. The few beers I had was enough to put me in the worst possible hangover I've ever experienced which says a lot since back when I graduated high-school I was quite the partier but times have changed for me and I've barley had enough time to sit down and drink a cold one that tasted two bitter but enough to refresh me. "It's not emo" I mumble back whilst laying on my back trying to block out any sound which included Leslie jabber mouth. Though I can barley remember any events of the night previous, I do remember one thing, and that's not only the totally raw or under cooked hotdog I ate, but the guy who made it. Weird enough, It's true that I remember having an awesome make out session but the whole time I must've thought it was Evan since as soon as I woke up I saw the picture. Something only a pure drunk would do as a form of 'revenge' though I was in no need of any sort of revenge on Evan. "Well one thing is for certain. You have horrible ring tone options" The thing about Leslie is, she never knows when to shut up. Ever .  "Was me becoming friends with Emma a total hallucination?" I ask remembering us talking for hours afterwards being unable to fall asleep.

"She fell asleep on the floor a hot mess. Left this morning to go run some errands even though she was puking for a good two hours and took like four or more pain killers before she left. Great so she's high on pain peds. I think to myself before jumping out of bed causing my head to feel like someone is stabbing needles into my brain on a routine continuously until I myself drown myself in Advil and water. "I need to go explain this to Evan. Imagine the tabloids right now. Stupid paparazzi. Shit I'm calling myself stupid" that instantly puts a smile on Leslie face as I basically spill I'm part of the paparazzi. I tend to freak in situations and I also spill everything and let out anything on my mind that's a secret I've been hiding. "Sit down" Leslie demands.

I sit down gently on the leather couch and sigh, "Surprise you are the only one knowing about how I met Evan" I breath out then look up holding back tears, this moment had to come some time but I was hoping it'd be with somebody I trusted not someone I just met. "I needed money. I hated Evan. I got offered a job for Adair. End things with Emma and Evan. It wasn't supposed to go this far. I was supposed to end things. I didn't. I couldn't. I was blinded and in love that the side affects of everything didn't phase me. It's been nearly a year. Sounds crazy but true. He thought I was a reporter. Our relationships based on a lie. A stupid, pointless, lie and a life style I never wanted" I sob but she only stares at me in disbelief, "Don't tell Emma!" I basically scream as she reaches for her phone.

"How many Advil did you take. You're insane" She tells me while dialing some number one I could only hope wasn't Evan or Emma or some agency. "I'm not insane!" I bark hysterically while the tears run down my face with no control. I was the mess. "Fess up. And spill. Calm down" She tells me while pouring a glass of ice cold water just what I needed, and grabbed a few tissues. I said the whole thing again sans the endless amount of tears and awkward crying noises. "Tai listen, what you did was horrible. I'm not sugar coating but if you love Evan what does it matter?" She had a point, other than the fact he fell in love with me because of a false reality. "Tell him. Please it will makes things better" Leslie hands me my phone and smiles, "What's the worse that can happen?" She asks while I ponder on calling him or not. After five long minuets of staring down at a blank phone screen, I anxiously dial Evan's cell phone or at least manage to dial his number with shaking, clammy hands. Three rings later and a bunch of deep breaths and tears Evan answers with a mumble, "I love you" Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth like word vomit. It could've started way worse. "Good to know" He says slowly. "You got the picture?" I tread lightly on this subject knowing one wrong move could make me Hollywood's most hated celebrity.

"What do you think?"

"Evan listen to me please" I beg but only hear the silence on the other line and the low volume of music playing in the background. "Lie after lie after lie. When will it end?" He asks. Good question too bad none of us know the answer. "And the whole paparazzi thing? Taissa what a fucking scumbag you are trying to ruin peoples lives. We used to make fun of those spineless, heartless jellyfish but all along you where just a cover up. Fuck you and your company"  Through the tears I was trying to suppress, and the thoughts not far behind I did wonder who told him. How could he know? Emma knew. But she never told him. Right?

"You weren't supposed to find out like this!" I cry louder but his silence makes it all the worse, "How was I supposed to find out?" He spat.

"I don't know. It happened too fast"

"Too fast? You couldn't find anytime that we spent together to tell me? You're such a hypocrite. Like a walking, talking, new Emma! You're so full of yourself too"

"Can we talk in person about this? I don't feel right doing it over the phone" I chocked back the tears. This was not only our first major fight, our worst fight, and possibly our last fight.

"No. I'll make it quick and simple. It's over. There I said it" It can't be over. You can't dump someone via a cellphone call. It's one fight. One lie. It can't end a relationship. Yes it can.

"So things are really over?" I ask knowing the answer but wanting to hear different.

"Sorry" Is the last thing he says not even apologetic then hangs up leaving me with the annoying high pitched beeping tone. I look over at Leslie who's standing at the doorway with a frown on her face. "Who knew I'd witness such an epic breakup" She tries making light on the situation but only makes it all the worse, this was a breakup. This was over. And not for some couple of days. By now he could be deep in Emma or any other girl he could have since he could have anyone as a rebound. But not me.

Later that night while driving 'home' and my home I mean Evan's house to get my things, my phone buzzes a couple of times in my purse but I ignore it not wanting to get a ticket since in the city there was cops every where you turned. Finally, at about 10:00 at night when my tears dried and I pulled myself together, I pulled up in the driveway to find another car in my regular parking slot. It was probably just another girl that he was doing so I braced myself as I took my key off my chain and slowly walked up the steps to the apartment. "One, two, three" I told myself then opened the door to a pitch black apartment. Luckily, I didn't have to see or hear Evan getting it on with his rebound who I assumed could be any girl at the bar and considered myself lucky as I gathered all my belongings into two boxes. One for clothes, and the other for miscellaneous junk I had around the apartment. Before I left, I dropped the key onto the island and continued out the door holding back the amount of tears and  dark thoughts that consumed me. While I opened the door from the inside,  someone assuming it was Evan opened from the outside causing the ever so awkward moment between us. "I was just leaving" I say softly without looking up. 

"The weddings back on!" I hear Emma squeal, just the voice I was expecting. "Holy shit what?" I ask trying to act happy for them, which I should be but didn't it seem all too soon.

"I didn't know you guys where broken up for like two weeks!" She said while showing me her huge ring, the band was covered in many tiny diamonds and the center of attention was the massive rock that was the real deal, 100% diamond just a lot bigger. "Two weeks?" I ask not sure of the situation.

"The week of his birthday you got into some huge fight he told me" It wasn't a huge fight, it wasn't even a fight to be exact. It was a misunderstanding and anger that his family didn't approve. No screaming involved.

"Well I'm happy for you" No more tears. You've cried enough today now put on a smile and be happy.

"I want you to be in the wedding! We've had a rocky start but honestly, you know us both great and I want you to be a bridesmaid" How could I turn down an offer like that? I automatically reply with a happy yes and  squeeze her to death trying to seem pleased. It could've been my wedding she was invited too. But I guess not. I was happy though. Oddly enough deep down I was happy for them both and I hope I have some of that happiness to spare for the wedding.