When the Beat Drops

1. Sunshine and Shadows

The rare Netherlands' sun blazed high in the sky, turning the festival grounds into a sun-drenched sea of colour and sound. Joost stood backstage, his nerves jangling amidst the cacophony of a crowd that seemed to stretch endlessly in front of the stage. The early time slot was not unusual for him, but since the competition, his level of fame had increased significantly, and now it felt a bit off. The sheer size of the audience made it clear this was a whole new level of recognition. It felt as if every festivalgoer had gathered for his performance, transforming the huge space into a sprawling mass of eager faces and buzzing energy.

The crowd's size could easily have been overwhelming. It was an ocean of people stretching as far as the eye could see, right back through the festival grounds and concession stands at the back of the vast field. From his vantage point, Joost could see a writhing sea of people, with fans of all ages packed together. Families with young children on their parent's shoulders, teenagers, and even older festival enthusiasts filled every inch of available space, their excitement palpable, and their phones raised high to capture every moment.

Joost glanced down at his clothes. He wore a black jacket, which he layered over a white shirt with a tie, and heavy black long shorts adorned with metal chains. The outfit, while visually striking, was proving to be a source of discomfort. The high temperature was making the fabric cling to him, adding to his growing sense of unease. Despite looking fantastic, the outfit was making him feel increasingly stifled and overheated, and he hadn't even started dancing yet.

Beside him, Teun, known as Tantu Beats, his friend, producer, and co-writer, offered a supportive smile. "Big crowd today." Teun commented, his voice cutting through the crowd's noise. "Looks like everyone at the festival decided to come and see you!"

Joost nodded, trying to mask his anxiety. "Yeah, it's huge. A little crazy, especially with how many families are here. I'm not sure how 'Ome Robert' will go over."

Teun's reassuring presence was a comfort. "We'll take it one song at a time. Focus on the music, and let the crowd's energy guide us. But let's give 'Bona in da Club' a miss, eh?" At this, they both laughed.

As they took to the stage, the heat and the crowd's roar combined to create a heady mix of adrenaline and anxiety for Joost. The sound of thousands of voices cheering in unison was deafening, making it hard for Joost to focus on anything but the enormity of the moment.

They opened with a few of Joost's older tracks. Songs written to energise and engage a crowd. The audience responded enthusiastically, their cheers and claps blending with the rhythmic beats of the music. Despite the first thrill of the performance, Joost couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. The size of the crowd and the diversity of its members. Particularly, the presence of so many young children made him feel a little uneasy about some of his set's explicit content. But they did mostly seem to be enjoying it. He wished he felt a bit better, though.

When the moment finally came for 'Europapa', the most well-known number of the set, Joost took a deep breath. The song, a heartfelt tribute to his late father, had become a symbol of both his personal grief and his recent rise to international fame. It was a track meant to reach deep into the heart. The opening chords of 'Europapa' rang out, and Joost began to sing. Although the upbeat rhythm aimed to uplift spirits, Joost struggled to connect with the song's depth as he had done before the incident. The crowd's happy enthusiasm was a stark contrast to the raw emotion he felt as he performed it.

As he reached the song's climax, Joost wondered if the crowd would be okay with the new pacey techno ending. The emotional outro, which had once been a powerful release, felt impossible to deliver these days. The ongoing investigation into his Eurovision disqualification and the media frenzy surrounding it had cast a shadow over his ability to perform the original outro without getting too upset. It was just too triggering for him now.

The performance concluded; the crowd erupted into cheers. Joost managed a smile and waved, saying "Thank you" and his trademark "I love you all!" before retreating backstage. His energy sapped. The contrast between the crowd's vibrant excitement and his own sense of fatigue was jarring. The early time slot, combined with the overwhelming heat, audience size, and diversity, made the performance both exhilarating and challenging.

Backstage, Teun approached Joost with a mix of concern and excitement. "You did well out there. I know it was a hard one with a slightly odd crowd, but you adapted brilliantly. That's what matters."

Joost sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Thanks. It just felt... slightly flat in places. I wasn't sure how some of the songs would fit with this crowd; lots of them only seemed to know Europapa."

Teun gave him a supportive pat on the back. "You handled that well. Did you see those mosh pits? I don't think we've ever had so many on the go at once! Just take a bit of time to rest up before the next gig."

Joost nodded and smiled at his friend, remembering how the crowd had made space at his request to "open the mosh pit." They created five or six large gaps for people to mosh in, just as they normally did. Perhaps it wasn't the crowd that felt flat; maybe it was him? Teun was right. He needed a little break.

After a few drinks, Teun and the rest of the crew had left, heading back to their own homes and lives. Joost, on the other hand, had requested a reservation at an upscale spa hotel in Brussels, which was about a three-hour drive away. He was hoping for some solitary rest and relaxation.

Sitting alone in his portacabin, Joost looked at his reflection in the mirror. The adrenaline from the gig had gone, leaving him with a stark view of his exhaustion. The joy of performing seemed distant, overshadowed by the physical and emotional toll of his recent experiences.

The crowd's energy had been a sharp contrast to his own sense of weariness and discomfort. The weeks ahead were uncertain, but Joost knew he had to keep moving forward, even if the path was fraught with challenges. 'Progression is everything,' was his favourite saying these days, and he reminded himself of it as he took in the tired blue eyes and pale skin looking back at him in the mirror.

With a deep breath, Joost put on his headphones, the familiar classical music blocking out the world around him. He slipped on his darkest sunglasses and pulled his hoodie up, creating a cocoon of calm amidst the world's chaos. As he climbed into the back seat of his chauffeur-driven car, the weight of the day finally caught up with him. The hum of the engine, the cool relief of the air conditioning, and the gentle movement of the car began to allow him to give in to his weariness. Completely exhausted, Joost drifted off into a dreamless and heavy sleep.

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