The Lost and the Hidden

Chapter 13

Waking up, my whole body aches. Part of the reason could be that yesterday was a rough day, the other that, as it seems, I've slept on the ground. Although, there is something more soft underneath me. Well, it's kind of soft, but it also isn't. I peel my eyes open and look up. My arms and head are rested on Logan's upper body. That explains why it wasn't that soft. Because of his muscles, that I can very much feel through his shirt. I don't dare to move. If I move, I will wake him up and that would be weird. He is going to wake up by himself soon, though. Still, I don't move. Maybe because I don't want to. But that's because I'm so exhausted from yesterday, right? It has to be. It's not because I feel comfortable and warm, and I've missed to be hugged, touched. It's because I don't want to wake him up. That's the reason, I'm sure. It can't be nothing else. I have no experience with this strange feeling in my gut. I feel like I'm going to throw up. But it kind od isn't a bad feeling. Is that possible? I must be sick. Yeah, I'm definitely sick, there's no other explanation for this feeling. It's because yesterday was so exhausting. Because we fled, and all of us were tired and some of us felt... sad and lost. Now starts a new chapter in their life. They have all reason to be sad. Especially... Liam. I shoot up, forgotten are my thoughts about not waking up Logan. He slowly gets up, opening his eyes and rubbing his chest. I must've pulled myself up a little hard. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want t..."

"Is everything okay?" he asks me. I hurt him, not the other way around. Why is he asking me that.

"What, I-I mean, yeah, I-"

"Just, because you... started, like you were having a nightmare or something." he explains.

"Oh, no, I'm-I'm fine." I assure him.

"You are?" He's smiling this sweet smile of his again.

"Yeah, I just... Excuse me." I stand up and almost stumble, hurrying to the bathroom. I stop in the last second, right before I would've slammed into the bathroom door.

I put my ear on the door and listen. Nothing. Logan is standing now, watching me. I make my way to the living room, and let out a relieved breath, when I see Liam.

At least he's gotten some sleep, after... He looks so calm. Almost... Like nothing happened. I hate that, when he wakes up, he will feel this pain again. I hate that he will feel it for a long time. I hate that, maybe, he won't be able to be like he was before, again.

I turn around, leaving h leaving him alone again, he's still sleeping, anyways.

Logan shoots me a sympathetic look. Liam hasn't even talked to anyone about it yet. Nobody knows what happened. I was the only one who saw it expect Liam, but I won't tell them about it. It's not mine to tell anybody. I should just give him time. We all should. I'll be there, if he needs me. Until then, I will let him feel his feelings and stay out of it, if that's what he wants.

As Logan sits down on the table in the dining room, I do, too.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

"I don't have a watch, but", he gazes out of the window, "I'd say maybe 4 in the morning?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up. You should try to sleep." I don't think I will be able to sleep at the moment.

"I don't feel like sleeping right now." He gives me a smile. I return it. Sometimes, I feel like he understands me without words.

I turn to him, shifting my body on my chair so I'm completely facing him.

"So" I feel like I've found my real smile, again, even if it's only for a few moments. I feel like I'm... normal, somehow, in this moment. "What do you want to do?" I grin at him.