You know that feeling when you feel like everyone is staring at you? I assume that's what my best friend feels like every day.
Noah Adams is my 6'3 built like a brick house best friend, and while I think he's a dopey idiot who I love regardless everyone else with eyes thinks he's a piece of meat to ogle. I mean seriously we've walked two classrooms to the left and two girls have batted their lashes at him, it looked more like they were trying to blink an eyelash out rather than flirt, they need a Jumanji style lesson in flirting, dear god.
Brown hair and browner eyes he is supposedly every girls dream or nightmare if you're aware of his inability to date. Fairly sure I'm his longest relationship to date, platonic of course and I'm proud to hold the title. I've known him almost as long as Katie, we met first day of nursery and have been inseparable since then, after he said my hair was so white I looked old. Three-year-old me deemed it peak comedy but I am glad to announce I'm now the funnier one.
"Noah seriously why don't you go bald? Maybe it'd fend them off for a bit?" I groan, feeling uncomfortable at all the attention in his direction for him
"Olly they're staring at us both, not just me" He shakes his head, hitching his backpack further over his shoulder
"Course they are" I laugh, shoving him with one shoulder
"You know that thing that hangs on most bathroom walls, fairly sure there's one above your settee, begins with a M?" I stare at him blankly, "A mirror?"
"Course I know what a mirror is you idiot?"
"Well have you looked in one recently? because I hate to break it to you Olly but you're a good-looking lad, everyone here would agree with me"
It's a shame the one person I want to agree would rather bite off her own tongue then say as much.
"Ah right" I nod, eager to change the conversation.
It's not that I think I'm unattractive it's just that no one has ever wanted me for me, it's always the footballer they want, the heir to a million-pound company, never the real me.
And the few people that know that side of me are either in possession of platonic love from me, or they're the one girl that's haunted my thoughts for as long as I can remember.
Every girl I've ever been with, well the three girls, have always started something after I've won a game, keeping the opposing teams score at 0, they see the boy who might go professional and envision their life as a wag instead of their life with love and I don't care how sappy it sounds but I want option two, I want something like what my parents have. To overcome issues larger than yourselves and come out together, not letting them separate you or drive a wedge between your connection, their love never frayed it strengthened, twisting together more to ensure its durability, every hard shipped they've faced was another layer of duct tape wrapped around their love making sure its life long and not fleeting. That's my dream, like yeah football would be a nice bonus but it's not the main thing at the end of the tunnel.
"See you later lad, don't try to hard" he laughs, walking away from me towards his own class.
Shaking my head to myself I wander inside one of the biology rooms at Easton College. It's an old building so the classrooms reflect that, high ceilings and exposed brick in some places. The walls are painted half white, half green split off by a horizontal line. The floors are a grey stone, scuffed in places from moving furniture and heeled shoes but it makes the building have a cosier sense to it. While I don't particularly love school, I do like biology and this classroom is my safe haven in a sense. I know what I'm doing, I'm not underestimated, I'm not put on a pedestal, instead I'm viewed as equal.
It's perfect.
Knowing why and how humans work and the world functions holds a vast part of my curiosity and attention, its hugely interesting to me and I'm fairly certain if given the right topic I'd be able to research on it for hours on end. Nerdy? Maybe, but its unsuspecting, people are shocked when I end up on the embarrassing 'sixth former of the week' board, for academics rather than sports, and even though I cringe seeing my photo its satisfying to put them in their place without having to try, I can prove people wrong. They don't need my explanation but it's nice to let people know that I'm more than a defender.
