Not Broken

Four: blood & blue eyes

GINGER'S POV

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 6 months after the coffee shop reunion

"what do you say cutie? want to take the fun back to my place?" the creepiest man I've seen in a long time asks while rubbing his fingers across my chest.

I'm seriously regretting my decision to wear a mesh white flowy shirt and skin tight white booty shorts to Satan's Sin "white night" because I'm feeling very exposed in front of this perv. he seems to think I've been enjoying his inappropriate comments while I was trying to serve people their drinks.

"I'll pay you if you earn it." cue mental image of me projectile vomiting all over his smug face.

in the past I may have done things for money that are far from being legally or morally right but I promised myself a long time ago I would kill myself before hooking up with people for money and this 50 year old beer bellied man is not making me break that promise.

"I'm not interested have a good night." and thankfully my shift just ended so I can go get my shit from the locker room and leave. I walk away without giving the man a second glance. he'll probably hit on other guys until someone takes him up on his offer.

"I'm heading out boss!" I yell in the direction of my boss as I walk out. he gives me a half wave in acknowledgment to what I said and I go out the door and start walking home. it's about 20 minutes and even though I have a bad track record of walking at night alone I don't have a choice unless I want to waste rent money on an Uber.

someone grabs my arm, hard, as I pass an alley and unlike the time Damian grabbed me I'm ready to fight like hell. I start kicking my legs around until the guy slams me against the brick wall of a building and I hit my head.

"should've taken me up on my offer, whore!" the sleaze ball from earlier says as he starts trying to pull my shorts down.

oh hell no! I spin around as soon as he stops pushing me against the wall. I kick him in the balls as hard as possible and grab one of the knives I keep tucked in each boot in case of situations like this. he falls to the ground groaning and I kick him so that he's lying on his back. I put a knee on his throat cutting off his air supply and lean down to whisper in his ear.

"and you should've gone home with someone else, pervert." he's slowly turning purple and I plan on staying like this until he passes out.

after he's unconscious I plunge my knife into his crotch and then use his shirt to clean it off as good as I can until I get home.

satisfied that he'll never be able to hook up with anyone ever again if he somehow survives. I check myself to make sure there's no blood on me. I'm assuming he already checked to make sure there were no cameras in the alley but I check anyways. since I don't see any I continue my walk home.

as I'm standing in the shower with scolding water running down my back I think about what I just did. I stabbed a guy and left him bleeding out in an alley without a second thought. I know I should feel something but it feels like all my emotions disappeared as he pushed me against the wall.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~TRIGGER WARNING memories of sexual assault and descriptions of S.H.

I get out of the shower and stare at myself in the mirror. curly black hair, pale skinny face, empty blueish green eyes, and my scarred muscular torso. I've been told I'm hot but all I see when I look in the mirror is the little boy who never tried to fight when guys bent him over the nearest piece of furniture and did whatever they wanted. I'm pathetic and weak which is obvious from the scars scattered over my broken and used body.

I try to tell myself that it's not worth it and I'll just feel worse after but talking myself down when I feel like this is impossible and I know it. without hesitating anymore I grab the blade from its hiding spot behind my toilet and start painting my thighs red. a part of my brain notices that the cuts are deeper than usual but I don't stop. I can't stop not until the memories shut up.

after I finish I take another shower bandage up the worst ones, put on black sweatpants, and head to my room.

"how was work tonight?" Acid asks when he notices me come out of our bathroom.

"fine."

I successfully escape to my room without anymore conversation and lock my door before crawling into bed. I cry until I run out of tears. I hate cutting but at least I have emotions again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~end of trigger warning

walking aimlessly around the city sounded healthier than crying in bed all day so I've been wandering for 3 hours. I'm pretty sure Quirks and Perks is nearby so I cut through random alleys trying to find it.

I turn right for what I really hope isn't the fourth time and decide to give up and use my phone. as soon as I look down at it I run into something tall and solid.

I look up realizing it was a person and look up into gorgeous blue eyes. familiar blue eyes. I back up half a step and realize it's the super model that saved me from Damian 6 months ago. a noise behind him distracts me before I can say anything and I see another guy on the ground bleeding out.

"you're the Milke guy with the fake I.D. right?" I say deciding questions about the dying dude can wait.

he looks at me with an expressionless face for a few minutes. "You're the cute pickpocket."

"that's me," I smile a little because OMFG HE REMEMBERS ME AND CALLED ME CUTE. I then realize there's a dead dude feet away and I should not be smiling right now. "you seem to be busy with him" I wave vaguely "so I'll leave you to deal with that. nice seeing you though"

I turn to go but he grabs my arm and my knees almost give out because HE'S TOUCHING ME AHHHHHHHHHHH.

"I can't let you go after what you just saw."

oh right. god Ginger get a grip!! he's thinking about the dead guy not steamy sex you horny psychopath!

"I won't say anything! I swear to god. who you stab doesn't affect me as long as you don't stab me!"

"you have to talk to my boss then he'll decide what to do with you."

"ok I'm guessing I have zero choice in the matter so lead the way my friend!"

we get inside a black truck and he takes me to the fanciest skyscraper I've ever seen and I see the sign outside the door "Steelrose Security." I stare open-mouthed at everything because this is the nicest building I've ever been in. I'm genuinely scared to breathe wrong and break something cause I would be bankrupt immediately.

Fake I.D. guy takes me up an elevator and to an office door which he knocks on and I hear a man grunt which I guess means "come in" cause the dude pulls me inside.

I wonder if they'd have the decency to tell Acid I'm dead if I ask them to?

A/N 1,264 words.

thanks for reading!!! stay safe <3

also idk if I like this book that much but I'm gonna try to make it better :) 

(hopefully)