The Last of the Old Ones

Amber

Chapter Six

I sat alone in my room, silence enveloping me after Astrid had left. I was stuck with the echoing of my own thoughts again. Even the air around me felt dismal, threatening to make me spiral. My feet dangled over the edge of my bed as I stared at the blood coursing through my veins. There was so much about this life I didn't know, I felt so lost in my own skin. It was like I was looking down at a stranger through their eyes. My veins were bright red even though I was no longer hooked up to an IV. I bent my arm to lift a hand, wiggled my fingers then straightened my arm again. How was this still me? Could I even be considered myself anymore after finding out everything I knew was a lie? It was crazy how my life had been turned upside down in the past two days. I quite literally felt like I was losing my sanity. I tried to sort through my racing thoughts. The pull I felt to Colin, that I just could not explain, contradicting the pain I felt about everything else in the current situation. I missed my family. The one I had to learn I was assigned to.

A soft knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts as the door cracked opened. "Hey, you disappeared earlier, are you okay? My parents wanted me to see how you were taking all this." Colin stepped inside my room with a concerned look on his face. He crossed the room to sit next to me on my bed, his thigh brushing mine as his scent filled my brain, easing my nerves ever so slightly.

"I'm a little overwhelmed if I'm being honest... Nothing feels right but at the same time I finally feel like I'm where I need to be... It's hard to explain." I felt like I could trust Colin and tell him how I was really feeling. He didn't really strike me as the type to laugh at me in my face. He followed my line of sight to my veins, nodding slightly. I felt bad dumping all these thoughts on him but the cloud of darkness looming over my life felt like it was starting to close in on me.

"It must be hard, huh? Finding everything out this way... We usually let The Old Ones descendants figure it out for themselves and have the foster parents explain it to them or know from birth and were born into the haven, but you were a special case, you weren't safe in your foster home any longer because the people with the blank masks found out about you... Somehow, they started tracking you down when they got your parents. We had to bring you into the program's full protection. My parents really care about our people and would never let any of them be at risk. That's why we pulled you in the other day, the people with the blank masks have been tracking and watching you and your foster family for months and they were beginning to close in, and we couldn't risk losing you. You are the last of our kind." Colin looked at me and sort of just babbled everything out. I tried to focus on his individual statements so I could understand more about this new world I was now a part of. I could tell he genuinely cared for our people too. A word I had known all my life, "our" felt so foreign. I supposed I could drive myself crazy denying the truth or try to start to accept things for the way that they were. There was no turning back, this wasn't like a summer camp I'd get to go home from when it was all over. I took in the expression on his face, from the kindness in his eyes, his sharp jaw, the way his lips moved as he spoke.

"I know it's all for good reason but it's still tough... I could really use some fresh air; would your parents mind if I went for a walk?" My chest started feeling tight, the sensation of being trapped settling in.

"They won't want you out there alone right now, with the blank masked people and all. The scouts have reported that they have all vacated the area and we are safe for now but..." Colin trailed off.

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily have to go alone... You're here, what do you say? Want to go for a little walk?" I asked, desperate to get out, just for a little bit.

"Well, it is nice out. Sure, why not?" Colin agreed as I unhooked my IV and slid on my sweatshirt to hide the valve still in my arm. I felt embarrassed at the desperation that overtook me, but I could tell I was about to launch into a full-blown panic attack if I didn't step away from this house, from my suffocating thoughts, everything. We headed downstairs to the front door, and he led the way outside. I shoved my hands into my hoodies pouch pocket and followed. "Where to?" Colin asked.

"Um, we can walk to the pond and back, the pond always calmed me down when I was upset when I was younger." I told him. "It's down the dirt path." I added as we started walking down the side of the street in the moonlight.

We walked in silence under the stars, but it wasn't awkward, it was nice. I didn't really feel like talking or explaining my feelings, so it was welcome. I walked with my eyes on the sky, watching the clouds roll by in the night sky. It didn't take us long to reach the pond, I headed toward the tattered little bridge over the water and turned to Colin.

"Come on, I want to show you something." I spoke, leading the way to an open clearing just past the pond that was filled with fireflies, I stopped at the trunk of a willow tree and sat in the cool grass. "This used to be the place I went to escape the world, it still kind of is, I guess." I smiled, thinking back to all the times I had snuck under here to think in peace or just watch the world pass around me. The clearing had such a calming effect on me. We could hear the bullfrogs croaking from the pond and I pulled my sweatshirt a little tighter around me. There was no denying that there was a brisk chill in the air, but it was refreshing; it reminded me that I was still alive and feeling.

Colin joined me under the tree, lifting a hand up to pick a jewel-colored leaf off the branch right over our heads. He twisted it between his fingers for a while then watched as it twirled to the ground. I saw the moonlight dance in his eyes, it was such a pure thing. I had a feeling Colin was more like me than I thought, that I had helped him escape stress he was dealing with too. Although, most of that stress currently may be entirely related to my existence...

"I'm sorry Colin..." I said quietly to him.

"For what Amber?" Confusion filled his face as his eyes darted to mine.

"For needing a babysitter, for making more work for you..." I looked away from his kind eyes, I didn't deserve his kindness, I was more trouble than I was worth.

"Don't think for a second that I'm not willing or happy to be here with you." He hooked a finger under my chin gently to force me to look him in the eye again. He let his hand slide away after a few moments of me not responding, I didn't even know how to respond. We fell into a comfortable silence after that.

I don't know how much time we spent sitting there but I began to get very tired. I yawned and let my eyes droop closed for just a moment while I listened to the croak of the frogs and the chirps of the crickets, my head against Colin's shoulder as he sat next to me... At least I thought it was just a moment.

I woke up in the middle of the night, finding myself somehow in my bed tucked in, in my day's outfit. My IV had been hooked back up with a fresh bag in. I rubbed my eyes and decided to put my pajamas on before falling back asleep. I quietly moved to my wardrobe and slipped into some pajama bottoms and one of my grandfather's old shirts... Well, I suppose he wasn't my real grandfather, but he sure had acted like one while he was alive. I couldn't help but wonder if he had known the truth, if he would have treated me any differently if he had. I lay back down in my bed, remembering all the adventures we had gone on. We used to go on hikes to secret caves hidden behind magnificent waterfalls, to wide open valleys full of flowers in every color of the rainbow, to places I never could've even imagined. He had been the one who taught me to face my fears rather than hiding from them. I slowly fell back asleep thinking about all the great times we had together.