Holding On

Carlos?"Okay ka lang?" Dominic asked, his voice a mix of worry and familiarity.

"Okay lang, pre," i responded, with a smile but as they say, eyes never lies.

"Hindi ka okay, pre. I can see it from your eyes."

I chuckled sadly, miss kona siya bro, i miseed her smiles and laughter that once filled the hallways—a laughter that belonged to Cassandra Kate Martinez.
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It was a typical day at the university when we first met. Cassandra had been racing down the corridor, tripping over her own feet, books flying everywhere. I helped her pick them up, our eyes meet, a connection forged in that clumsy moment.
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Months later, we met again at a park nearby, where autumn leaves danced around them. As we introduced ourselves properly, laughter came easily, and we shared stories—her dreams of becoming a nurse and my ambition to join the police force.
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But things changed that day at the school gate when she fainted while nag-aantay siya saakin. I panicked as i rushed to her side, asking if she was okay. Her smile, usually bright, was now dimmed by an unspoken sadness.
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Dinala ko siya sa hospital at tinawagan ko si tita Selene, Cassandra's mother. After a few minutes, Cassandra's mother arrived at the hospital asking me kung anong nangyari kay Cass.Of course i told her everything, after that we talked while waiting for Cassie to wake up.
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When Cassandra woke up, hindi siya makatingin ng diritso sa akin. "Bakit ayaw mo akong tignan Cass?" sabi ko sakanya."I'm sorry Carlos". For what Cassandra? "Alam mo na eh, sinabi saakin ni Mama na nag-usap daw kayo," she replied, her voice barely a whisper.

"I still wanted to hear it from you, Cass,"

She tooked a deep breath and said"Carlos, I have cancer." and the Doctor told me that i only have months to live. she said with a trembling voice. "Bakit dimo agad sinabi saakin Cass?",sabi ko sakanya habang yung boses ko ay nanginginig.

"Gusto ko lang sana maging normal Carlos".Sabi niya habang umiiyak, Sawa na ako sa labanan.Napapagod na ako."But still Cassandra kaylangan mo paring lumaban", hindi kanaman nag-iisa eh. Please. i begged her as my voice trembling, the fear of losing her.
"I'll try", pero Carlos may tanong ako. "pwede mo ba akong pakisamahan?"she said as tears running down to her cheeks.
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(few moths later)
One month nalang. she said while holding a plushie that i gave her."Wag mong sabihin yan, Cas. Diba sabi ko sayo na lumaban ka? Nangako ka saakin, diba love?"

"Pero..." Her voice cracked, when i silenced her."Lalaban ka, okay?" Para sa family mo,at para narin sa akin, hmm.
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One evening, Cassandra lay in the hospital bed, weak and broken. "Carlos, i'm so sleepy," she murmured faintly.

"Sleepy pero umiiyak,edi lalo kang aantukin nyan." I said to her jokingly habang umiiyak. "Ayaw mo na talagang uminom ng gamot, Cas?"

She shook her head and cried, "Pagod na ako eh."

Seeing her weak broke my heart. Tears streamed down to my cheeks as she held my hand tighter. "Cassandra, please, don't give up on me."

"I love you," she said, her voice weak but laced with affection.

"I love you too, love." Slowly, she closed her eyes, while i sobbed softly, feeling my world shatter.
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"Cas, sana nandito ka pa," i whispered to myself, lost in the memories.

"Ang sakit, pre," Dominic remarked softly, sensing the heaviness in the air.

"I wish I could've done more for her," "Sana kinombinsi ko pa siya nang maigi noh"

"at least you stayed by her side bro,until her last breath"
"Maybe all you needed to do was love her, Carlos." Dominic said.

As i hear those words Dominic has told me,i suddenly remembered yung last moment na inenjoy nya nang maigi ang panahon na yun,yung tipong wala siyang pinalagpas na oras.Yung parang wala siyang sakit kapag tinitignan mo,ang saya-saya niyang tignan. Pero okay nayun, umalis namn siyang mapayapa eh. Hindi na siya nahihirapan.

"Para sa akin, she would always be the girl na tumuro sa akin on how to love deeply—even in sorrow."