Heat of the Heart: A Firefighter's Love Story

Nerves

After I sent the message, I set my phone down on the coffee table. Letting out a sigh. I appreciated everyone's concern for my well-being.

It was out of my comfort zone. I've been by myself for so long, living on my own. My family is alive; I just have a bad relationship with them. My apartment was quiet now, aside from the soft murmur of the TV.

I tried to focus on whatever show was playing, but my mind kept drifting back to Emerson. There was something about him that made me want to trust him, which was strange because trusting people had never been easy for me.

The way he'd looked at me before he left like he could see through all my walls, stuck with me. It wasn't just that he cared. It seemed like it was completely natural to him.

Like I didn't need to be on guard all the time. Still, part of me hesitated. What if I let him in and it was too much? What if he saw the parts of me that I have yet to mend the parts that were broken and he decided I wasn't worth the effort?

I pulled the blanket more snuggly around my body as if it could shield me from my fears. My eyes once again drifted to the flowers, their bright colors shown by the soft evening light from the window.

They showed me there was hope that I wasn't sure if I was ready for, but part of me wanted to take that step, to see what life could be like with someone like
him by my side.

My phone went off again, breaking me out of my thoughts. I picked it up, expecting another message from Emily, but this time it was him. "Hey, Marissa. Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Thinking about you." I stared at the screen for a good minute as my heart began to race.

I could almost hear his voice as I read it. I hesitated briefly before I responded by typing my message. "Hi, Emerson. I'm doing okay. Just taking it easy, like you said." My fingers stay above the screen right over the send button for a moment, wondering if I should say more.

Should I tell him his presence had comforted me? How I hadn't stopped thinking about him since he left? I wasn't sure. My thumb hovered, and then finally, I hit send.

His reply came almost instantly. "Good. I'm glad to hear it. Looking forward to dinner tomorrow."

A smile tugged at my lips, excitement pattering rapidly in my chest despite the nerves. Dinner with him. It seemed like such a small thing, but in my world, it felt huge. "Me too," I typed back quickly, keeping the message light.

I set the phone down again, leaning back on the couch and staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow would be the first clue as to how this might go. It was just a simple dinner, but it felt like it could lead to something more.

I turn the TV off while lying on the couch, listening to the putter of the rain falling on my roof. The sound was calming and helped ease my mind off racing thoughts. Tomorrow would be the true test. I think. It is not just about what could happen between us but about whether I could let go of my past and embrace the chance of something new.

Despite the fear that still ran through my veins, I found myself wanting to take a chance. As the sun set, I let myself finally fully relax on the couch, pulling the blanket up higher.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt excited about what was coming. The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual; my mind was filled with nervous energy. I hadn't slept well, even in the slightest. I had tossed and turned with thoughts about dinner with him. I tried to push the thoughts away, but the 'what ifs' kept me up all night.

Leaving me restless. I got out of bed and stretched, whining as a dull ache flared up in my side. I needed to take it easy today if I didn't want to overdo it by the evening. After a quick shower, I made myself a light breakfast. I wondered what even saw in me. Why he has stuck around?

By mid-morning, I decided to start getting ready, even though it was hours before dinner. I wanted everything to be perfect. Emerson made me feel like I deserved that, and I didn't want to disappoint. I looked through my closet, trying to find something that felt right.

Probably casual but a little dressy, nothing over-the-top but enough to show I cared.*God, was I thinking too much?!*I finally look at my simple sundress. It was soft and comfortable—just what I needed. I could easily get dressed in this with no problem.

After slipping it on, I took a deep breath, feeling a little more prepared, though I still felt very nervous. As the afternoon slowly went by, I found myself walking around, my anxiety seemed to increase every passing second. I tried to keep myself busy and occupied with books and TV; I even did a bit of cleaning, but nothing could ease the nervousness and excitement in my body.

I kept checking the time like it would somehow make the evening come faster. I moved so much that I probably overdid it. Finally, there was a knock on the door. Causing me to breathe out a breath of air I didn't know how long I'd been holding. My heart leaped. I took a deep breath, using my hands to smooth my dress, and went to answer it.

I opened the door with a creak, and he stood there, looking as calm. He was wearing a black button-down and jeans. "Hey," he said softly, his eyes looking at me, running up my body for a moment before they met mine. "You look beautiful." I felt a blush heat up spreading across my cheeks. "Thanks. You look good too."He smiled a small smile.