To the end

02

Pain

Kim stirred awake, the sterile scent of the hospital hitting his senses before his eyes fully opened. The white ceiling, the soft hum of the machines beside him—it all felt surreal. His body was heavy, as if the weight of all his mistakes had sunk deep into his bones.

He blinked, focusing on the blurry figures beside him. Thankhun sat closest to the bed, a look of worry mixed with relief on his face. Macau stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, his usual carefree demeanor gone, replaced with deep concern.

Kim's breath hitched as the memories flooded back. The screaming, the smashing of glass, his children’s terrified faces, Bible leaving. His heart twisted painfully at the thought. Bible was gone. He had pushed him away, scared him off, just like he had scared his own children.

"vegas..." Kim whispered, his voice hoarse, a tremble betraying his broken state. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he bit his lip to keep from sobbing. But he couldn’t hold it in. His entire body shook with grief, his chest tightening with each ragged breath. "I scared them... I scared my own children, Khun."

Thankhun immediately moved closer, his hand gripping Kim’s shoulder. "Kim... don’t do this to yourself. We're here, Macau and I... we’ll help you through this. We’re not going anywhere."

Kim buried his face in his hands, unable to stop the sobs that escaped him. "I’m a monster... I scared them, Khun. My own children." His voice cracked, raw and filled with regret. "What have I done?"

Macau's voice was gentle but firm, “You’re not a monster, Kim. You’re our brother. You’re sick... but we’ll get through this together. The kids... they’re scared, but they love you. We all do.”

The guilt was overwhelming. Kim couldn’t look at either of them. His mind kept flashing back to Bible’s frightened face, to his children running away from him in terror. He had failed them all. “I don’t deserve this... I don’t deserve any of you. I should’ve... I should’ve been better.”

“Stop,” Thankhun said, squeezing Kim’s shoulder tighter. “Don’t you dare say that. You’ve done everything you could, Kim. We’ll fix this. But you need help, and we’re going to make sure you get it. We’re not losing you.”

Tears spilled down Kim’s cheeks, his sobs finally breaking free as he curled up on the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. "I just wanted... I just wanted to be with him again. I couldn’t take it anymore... without Vegas, I’m nothing."

Thankhun’s heart broke at the sight of his brother crumbling before him. He reached out, pulling Kim into a hug, despite Kim’s resistance. "You’re not alone, Kim. You’ve never been alone. We’ll get through this, okay? One step at a time."

Kim shook his head, his voice barely a whisper, “I don’t know how to anymore, Khun... I don’t know how to be normal again.”

“You don’t have to do it alone,” Macau said softly, stepping closer. “We’re your family, Kim. We’ll be right here with you, no matter what. But you have to let us help you."

Kim clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms as he tried to control the flood of emotions. "I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore..." he whispered, his voice broken. “I can’t... I can’t live like this.”

Macau placed a hand on his brother’s arm, his voice steady despite the turmoil he felt inside. "Then let us help you heal. You’re not beyond saving, Kim. You’re still our brother, and we’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back."

The room was silent except for Kim’s quiet sobs. Thankhun held him tighter, not letting go. They stayed that way for what felt like hours, both brothers refusing to leave his side, silently offering the strength Kim so desperately needed.