Hey guys!!! Ermmm how do I say this so basically long story short, I got diagnosed with ovarian cysts, autoimmune disease, arthritis, and a mystery kidney tumor that I'm still getting checked out all in the same year 😭
It pains me extremely to say this but over those months I have lost interest in writing Jake x Johnnie stuff, I still love them as creators! But I'm not as indulged in fandom anymore.
I do want to say though, do not fret! If you like my writing, I have a few things I'm cooking up. I don't know when I'll be able to work on them or release them because I am constantly in and out of doctors offices and hospitals, but I'll give you guys a small sample of writing I have sitting in my notes app right now with the names replaced with dumb and dumber because what's the fun in spoiling who I'm writing about??
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" 'I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to even think about you, because I also hate you.'
Those are the words the two wish they could say to the other. The words that dance on the tip of their tongues everyday.
Now dumb has decided he has had enough of this psychological warfare, that's why he's speed-walking to Dumbers office, biting the inside of his cheek as he places his hand on the doorknob. Turn back. He should turn back and go home, he should stop sneaking around the mafia building. If skibidi slicers saw him right now, what would he think?
Click.
"Dumber."
The ginger looks up from the paperwork he's filing, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
They both stand there. Staring. Dumber can read dumbs dull brown eyes, something serious is about to happen. Maybe against both of their wills.
The shorter man puts the stack of papers down, sighing and crossing his arms as he waits for dumb to say something. Anything other than his name that rolls off of his tongue as if it were his favorite thing to say.
"You-" dumbs fists tighten, his fingernails digging into his palm, almost drawing blood as he attempts desperately to tell dumber his biggest secret, "You don't know what you're talking about."
Dumber tilts his head slightly before responding, "What do you mean..?"
The men stare once again, dumb swallowing hard as if he were trying to stop the words from leaving his throat.
It's as if they have a red string piercing through both of their hearts. If they try to leave each other's sides, the string just squeezes their hearts, causing them to ache, to hurt, to feel empty without the other. But they hate each other. Even when they're with each other, knifes line the string that connects them. So it may not hurt so much when they're close, but it aches. A dull ache, it always feels like they're being tortured. No matter what.
Dumb walks towards dumbers desk, ignoring the pain, the terrifying feeling of rejection, this is much more important than hating the only person who's made him want to live when in the Skibidi Headquarters, "I just- It's-" dumbs body tenses up, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration, "Fuck! This is really hard to say." The taller man exclaims, relaxing his muscles with a sigh, his eyes glued to the ground.
Dumber walks around his desk, now standing face to face with Dumb without his desk in the way, not knowing how hard he was making this for him. The way dumber stands there, looking up to Dumb with the most attentive eyes in the world. It's making him go insane.
The only sound that fills the room is the ticking from the clock. The repetitive ticking making Dumb feel like he was being timed.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Words can't explain how much he loves him.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Words can't explain how much he hates him.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
"Dumb!"
They're pushed against each other, Dumbers back now against the wall as Dumbs lips dance with his. They're both shocked, honestly. Dumb didn't really think before he pretty much forced himself on to the ginger. Dumber wasn't really complaining. Well, maybe except one complaint.
The shorter man flips the position, now pushing Dumb against the wall. As they pull apart, taking a breath, Dumbers piercing gaze meets Dumbs eyes, "Fuck you." The brunette swallows harshly again before breaking the short lived silence between them, "What...?" The ginger pulls on the back of Dumbs hair, "Why do you always... make things hard for me. Why do you make me so confused with your- your tender touch, your soft voice, and those fucking eyes."
Dumb blinks, nervously chuckling, "Because I love you."
"Yeah! But every time you act like this..." Dumber drops his head into the crook of Dumbs neck, releasing his grip on his hair and instead wrapping his arms around the tallers waist, "You leave me Dumb. Everytime. And then I have to be alone." Dumbers muscles tighten around Dumb like he's going to run away at any minute as he returns the hug, "You know you make me feel human. You know how lonely I feel. You know!"
Dumber breaks the hug, turning away quickly as he wipes away tears starting to pool at the bottom of his eyes, walking towards his office door, opening it to invite, no, order Dumb out, "I'll tell the guards to escort you out."
Dumbs eyes widen, "I'm not fini-"
"I don't want to finish this." He doesn't, he wants it to stay unresolved so Him and Dumb will do this again. But he feels he has to accept the fact that Dumb probably won't do this again, no matter how many begging glances dumber gives, or how many times he drunkly calls his phone desperately repeating that he needs dumb, only to be returned with a, 'Dumber, you're drunk. Go to bed.'
Dumber sighs, "Just... Let me think."
They have a stare off before Dumb saunters to the door, brushing his hand against Dumbers glove before pausing in the doorway, "I love you, dumber."
Dumber bites the inside of his cheek, looking down at his shoes before responding solemnly, "I know."
And with that, Dumb leaves. Dumbers words leaving a hole eating away at his heart, the one being pulled by that god forsaken string. If only he could fucking cut it."
Do you know who it is I'm writing about? It's kind of obvious.... ANYWAYS I hope you guys will stick around to catch my new fics ;) see you around!!! 🤑
YOU ARE READING
Losers (Jake X Johnnie) / DISCONTINUED
FanfictionAfter Jake and Tara break up, him and Johnnie seem to gravitate to eachother, finding themselves wanting to cuddle with one another or to kiss the other.